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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts below illustrate the percentage of British
students
Use synonyms
 at one university in England who were able to speak other
languages
Use synonyms
excapting
Correct your spelling
except
 English between 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most popular
language
Use synonyms
 among
students
Use synonyms
 was Spanish,
however
Linking Words
, the least ones were able to communicate in German and in two
languages
Use synonyms
additionally
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there were significant changes in
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
profiency
Correct your spelling
proficiency
 among
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 over a decade. In 2000, the trending
language
Use synonyms
 in British
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 was Spanish with the proportions at 30%.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, French took second place among widely known
languages
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 with the figures at 15% and the same amount of
students
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had known
Wrong verb form
knew
show examples
 another
language
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.
Beside
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Besides
show examples
this
Linking Words
 data, there were 20% people who were not able to speak any other
language
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 ones could talk in German and know two additional
languages
Use synonyms
 at 10% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little difference
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the situation in 2010. Spanish still continues to be a trending
language
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 35%.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
another ones
Replace the adjective
another one
other ones
show examples
 took 20% of British
students
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 and 10% of people who could communicate in German,
French
Correct word choice
and French
show examples
, those who know two
languages
Use synonyms
 and those who were able to speak only English.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, languages, language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • additional languages
  • proficiency
  • decade
  • trends in language learning
  • globalization
  • cultural shifts
  • inferred
  • shifted
  • popularity
  • decrease/increase in speakers
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