The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram below gives information about the steps for manufacturing
sugar
.
We can see that there are 7 process
to make Change to a plural noun
processes
sugar
from sugar
canes
. The Fix the agreement mistake
cane
manufactoring
process Correct your spelling
manufacturing
is occurred
in both Change to the active voice
occurs
has occurred
field
for plantation and factory for Change to a plural noun
fields
manufaction
.
Correct your spelling
manufacture
To begin
with, it takes time for the growing span of sugar
canes
, which takes about 12 to 18 months. When matured, they are harvested by Fix the agreement mistake
cane
famers
manually using a knife-like toolCorrect your spelling
farmers
,
and are delivered to Remove the comma
apply
factory
by trucks.
In the factory, Add an article
the factory
suar
canes are crushed by machines and Correct your spelling
sugar
turning
into juice. The Wrong verb form
turned
forth
step is filtering from limestone in order to purify the juice. After the purification, the juice is heated in the evaporator and becomes syrup Correct your spelling
fourth
due to
the high temperature. The syrup is then
filled in the centrifuge to separate sugar
crystals from the liquid. Finally
, the last
manufaturing
step is drying and cooling the crystals, which become the finished goods, Correct your spelling
manufacturing
sugar
.Submitted by lovesonya0227 on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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