It is increasingly expensive to keep museums open to public. What do you think is the best way to fund them? (the government, businesses or individuals?)
Nowadays it is becoming a
public's
concern that keeping Change noun form
public
museums
open to the public will involve high financial implications. Measures to curb this
problem include government
, business
owners and individuals working together to share the funds.The essay will critically evaluate this
.
First and foremost, it is widely known that the government
has the largest financial revenue among other stakeholders. Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
government
is also
responsible for safeguarding national historical artefacts and monuments. Hence
government
should ideally become the main financial support for museums
. Ultimately this
will in turn help to bear the high financial burden.
Secondly
, business
and individuals have a social responsibility to keep Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
museums
alive.Accordingly
, they may help by doing business
ventures, fundraising and donations to raise money. Notably, this
is part of the contributions they can make to the nation and country. Hence
their contributions are invaluable in supporting the rising need of increasing the financial cost of museums
.
By and large, the government
has the financial strength to support museums
running while
business
owners and individuals may contribute accordingly
as a social responsibility to keep museums
open.The key is to work hand in hand to alleviate the high financial cost. The mutual goal is to preserve national
treasures and historical monuments of the country.Correct article usage
the national
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task response
The essay addresses the task and provides a solution by suggesting that the government, business owners, and individuals work together to fund museums. However, it lacks specific examples and detailed explanations to support the main points. Incorporating specific examples and further elaboration on each point would enhance the task response and make the argument more convincing.
task response
Work on providing further detailed support for the main points made. For example, provide explicit examples of how businesses have successfully participated in funding museums or how government policies have supported similar initiatives in the past.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, more detailed transitions between points could help improve the flow of ideas. Connecting sentences and phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' 'For instance,' and 'As a result' would enhance the coherence and readability of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and develop that idea fully before moving on to the next point. This will make your essay more clear and logically structured.
structure
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion, which enhances readability. Each paragraph addresses specific points related to the topic.
language
The language used is clear and generally free of major grammatical errors, making the essay easy to understand.
task response
The essay addresses the task and offers a solution by involving different stakeholders in the funding of museums.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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