It is increasingly expensive to keep museums open to public. What do you think is the best way to fund them? (the government, businesses or individuals?)
Nowadays it is becoming a
public's
concern that keeping Change noun form
public
museums
open to the public will involve high financial implications. Measures to curb Use synonyms
this
problem include Linking Words
government
, Use synonyms
business
owners and individuals working together to share the funds.The essay will critically evaluate Use synonyms
this
.
First and foremost, it is widely known that the Linking Words
government
has the largest financial revenue among other stakeholders. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
government
is Use synonyms
also
responsible for safeguarding national historical artefacts and monuments. Linking Words
Hence
Linking Words
government
should ideally become the main financial support for Use synonyms
museums
. Ultimately Use synonyms
this
will in turn help to bear the high financial burden.
Linking Words
Secondly
, Linking Words
Use synonyms
business
and individuals have a social responsibility to keep Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
museums
alive.Use synonyms
Accordingly
, they may help by doing Linking Words
business
ventures, fundraising and donations to raise money. Notably, Use synonyms
this
is part of the contributions they can make to the nation and country. Linking Words
Hence
their contributions are invaluable in supporting the rising need of increasing the financial cost of Linking Words
museums
.
By and large, the Use synonyms
government
has the financial strength to support Use synonyms
museums
running Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
business
owners and individuals may contribute Use synonyms
accordingly
as a social responsibility to keep Linking Words
museums
open.The key is to work hand in hand to alleviate the high financial cost. The mutual goal is to preserve Use synonyms
national
treasures and historical monuments of the country.Correct article usage
the national
Submitted by nabilahabdmalek3452 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay addresses the task and provides a solution by suggesting that the government, business owners, and individuals work together to fund museums. However, it lacks specific examples and detailed explanations to support the main points. Incorporating specific examples and further elaboration on each point would enhance the task response and make the argument more convincing.
task response
Work on providing further detailed support for the main points made. For example, provide explicit examples of how businesses have successfully participated in funding museums or how government policies have supported similar initiatives in the past.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, more detailed transitions between points could help improve the flow of ideas. Connecting sentences and phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' 'For instance,' and 'As a result' would enhance the coherence and readability of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and develop that idea fully before moving on to the next point. This will make your essay more clear and logically structured.
structure
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion, which enhances readability. Each paragraph addresses specific points related to the topic.
language
The language used is clear and generally free of major grammatical errors, making the essay easy to understand.
task response
The essay addresses the task and offers a solution by involving different stakeholders in the funding of museums.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example