The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group Iin2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group Iin2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.
The graph shows the weekly
earnings
of full-time graduate employees by
age
and type of
degree
in 2002. It compares those with a higher
degree
, those with a first
degree
, and those with other
qualifications
.
Overall
,
graduates
with a higher
degree
earned the most across all
age
groups
,
while
those with other
qualifications
earned the least. For all
groups
,
earnings
increased as
age
increased, peaking between the ages of 36-40, and
then
slightly declined in the older
age
groups
. For
graduates
with higher degrees, their
earnings
started around £500 at
age
21-25 and rose sharply, reaching over £800 at
age
36-40.
After
this
peak, their
earnings
slowly declined, but there was a noticeable increase again at
age
56-60. Those with first degrees followed a similar trend but earned less. Their
earnings
started around £450 at
age
21-25, reaching just below £700 by
age
36-40.
After
this
,
earnings
remained stable, with slight fluctuations, and ended near £600 for those aged 56-60.
Graduates
with other
qualifications
earned the least throughout. They started around £400 at
age
21-25 and peaked at about £600 in the 36-40
age
range. Their
earnings
remained fairly stable but lower than the other two
groups
for the rest of the
age
groups
. In conclusion,
graduates
with higher degrees had the highest
earnings
, followed by first-
degree
holders,
while
those with other
qualifications
consistently earned the least.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words earnings, age, degree, qualifications, graduates, groups with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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