The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group Iin2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group Iin2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.
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The graph shows the weekly
earnings
Use synonyms
of full-time graduate employees by
age
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and type of
degree
Use synonyms
in 2002. It compares those with a higher
degree
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, those with a first
degree
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, and those with other
qualifications
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
with a higher
degree
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earned the most across all
age
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groups
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,
while
Linking Words
those with other
qualifications
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earned the least. For all
groups
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,
earnings
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increased as
age
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increased, peaking between the ages of 36-40, and
then
Linking Words
slightly declined in the older
age
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groups
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. For
graduates
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with higher degrees, their
earnings
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started around £500 at
age
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21-25 and rose sharply, reaching over £800 at
age
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36-40.
After
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this
Linking Words
peak, their
earnings
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slowly declined, but there was a noticeable increase again at
age
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56-60. Those with first degrees followed a similar trend but earned less. Their
earnings
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started around £450 at
age
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21-25, reaching just below £700 by
age
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36-40.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
earnings
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remained stable, with slight fluctuations, and ended near £600 for those aged 56-60.
Graduates
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with other
qualifications
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earned the least throughout. They started around £400 at
age
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21-25 and peaked at about £600 in the 36-40
age
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range. Their
earnings
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remained fairly stable but lower than the other two
groups
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for the rest of the
age
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groups
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. In conclusion,
graduates
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with higher degrees had the highest
earnings
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, followed by first-
degree
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holders,
while
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those with other
qualifications
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consistently earned the least.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words earnings, age, degree, qualifications, graduates, groups with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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