IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#languages #danger #extinction #numbers #people #governments #money #waste
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people
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 have different views about whether some
languages
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 are in danger.
While
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 some
people
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 disagree with the idea that the
government
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 should spend public
money
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 on saving these
languags
Correct your spelling
languages
. Personally, in my opinion, I believe that the
government
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 should not waste much
money
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 on
the
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apply
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languages
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. There are a number of reasons the
government
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 should save several
languages
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.
Firstly
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, some
languages
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 are our cultural language. The
government
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 should save the
languages
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 because our new generation does not know how to learn. The
government
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 should inform everyone about learning several
languages
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.
Sencondly
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Secondly
, these
languages
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 represent our history, heritage, and culture. Authorities should focus on these
languages
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 so that a new generation can learn. But, in my opinion, not only the
government
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 but
also
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 local
people
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 and authorities should pay for the language classes. Several
languages
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 can newly represent our country in the world. Despite the above arguments, the
government
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 has many more important concerns.
For instance
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, on education, health, commercial and so on sectors. The first reason is that several
languages
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 are not important to learn. Because
very
Add an article
a very
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 small amount of
people
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earn
Verb problem
speak
show examples
 several
languages
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.
Moreover
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, the new generation does not want to learn the
languages
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. Job or business sectors do not allow the
languages
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. Another reason is that the
languages
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 are not international
languages
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. That's
what
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why
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, the
government
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 and authorities should not spend too much
money
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. In my opinion, the
government
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 should
also
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concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
 important sectors like medicine, education, and so on. In conclusion, the
government
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 should save the
languages
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 but should not much more
money
Use synonyms
 on the
languages
Use synonyms
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that supporting sentences are directly related to it. This will help to keep your writing focused and coherent.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant examples to support your arguments. Specific examples can make your points more convincing and clear.
Language Use
Address any grammar and spelling mistakes to make your writing more polished. Simple errors can detract from the overall quality of your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
Task Achievement
The writer provides their personal opinion, which is important in this type of essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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