The bar chart provides information about seven categories of employment among adults in 2003 and 2013

#bar #information #seven #categories #employment #adults

The provided bar chart gives information about the number of adults, which were employed in the US over a ten-year

period

between 2003 and 2013.

Overall

, it is obviously seen that at the beginning of the

period

amount of adults the most popular employment was

business

, than others. End of the

period

self -

employmend

Correct your spelling

employment

employed

compared with

business

, even became more.

The another

Remove the article

Another

show examples

interesting fact, education training, the hotel industry, the building industry, and the self-employment sector

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased over

this

ten-year

period

. The unemployment rate significantly dropped during

this

time. Getting back to the details in 2003 adult population that

employed

Add a missing verb

was employed

show examples

was 45%.The second most popular employment category was medical.

Hotel

Correct article usage

The hotel

show examples

industry, building and

another

Replace the adjective

other

show examples

categories were less popular than

business

and medical. The other categories reached only up to 10%. in 2013 the fractions of

business

and

self employed

Add a hyphen

self-employed

show examples

were almost

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

between 27% and 32%. The least popular employment categories were unemployed adults and medical

Submitted by dnm.best on Sun Sep 29 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, business with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart provides information about seven categories of employment among adults in 2003 and 2013

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

There is a lot of pressure and stress in many people's lives. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to reduce it?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional foods while others believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?