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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men amd women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men amd women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#levels #post-school #qualifications #australia #proportion #men #amd #women #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The supplied bar chart illustrates how many Australian
post-school
Use synonyms
 qualified
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 various rates and
also
Linking Words
 the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who organised them in 1999. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest number of
post-school
Use synonyms
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 is for
men
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 skilled vocational
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 did not
qualified
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qualify
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
skilled
Add an article
the skilled
show examples
 vocational
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
 as much as
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 parts
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
 over the period. In 1999, the proportion of qualifications for skilled vocational
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
 for
men
Use synonyms
 was considerably more than
Use synonyms
women
Change preposition
for women
show examples
 in the same
post-school
Use synonyms
 qualifications in
Australia
Use synonyms
 at 90% and 10%, respectively. ( which were the highest and lowest amount of
post-school
Use synonyms
 qualifications over the whole year).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the proportion of qualified
post-school
Use synonyms
 for
men
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 bachelor's
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 was a bit as much as
women
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 at 45% and 50%, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of
women
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 undergraduate
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
 was 70% which was twice more than
men
Use synonyms
 in the same group
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 35% in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 1999.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words post-school, men, women, diploma, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • levels
  • post-school qualifications
  • proportion
  • men
  • women
  • held
  • clear gender disparity
  • Certificate I
  • Certificate II
  • Certificate III
  • Certificate IV
  • Diploma or Higher
  • highest proportion
  • decreases
  • overall
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