Some people believe that unpaid community activity service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#people #community #activity #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
It may seem that,
few
individuals believe that schools should implement unpaid community Correct article usage
a few
for
instance, charity Add the comma(s)
, for
work
,neighbourhood improving
and some more social works. In Replace the word
improvement
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will discuss how important it is to implement Change the capitalization
I
such
great services and how it will improve the childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Chairty
Correct your spelling
Charity
work
is a really crucial service. it help
people Change the verb form
helps
learns
happiness, Change the verb form
learn
in
addition
it teaches us the real meaning of gratitude. Add a comma
addition,
For example
, for us
we think one bottle of milk is nothing, but when we donate it to some lower class, that smile which he/she gives is more valuable than any wages. They Add a comma
us,
shows
us how much important is that one bottle of milk. Children can Change the verb form
show
also
learn the best example, that never waste your food.
Secondly
, not all of the citizens can affords
education,Change the verb form
afford
bed
for sleeping, Fix the agreement mistake
beds
coaching
to play any sport. That's why we should promote more social Correct word choice
and coaching
work
, so that every individual have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
same
opportunities in their life, nobody Correct article usage
the same
shoudl
feel like they are not capable of doing something. Correct your spelling
should
clearly
it will help high school students to boost their social skills.
in conclusion, Add a comma
clearly,
i
would like to say that Charity Change the capitalization
I
work
is really vital in this
world. It teaches lots of lesson
about the Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
lifeto
kids and adults both. It shows why people should be grounded even after having so much money and services. Helping Correct your spelling
life of
other
is much more worth than someone's salary. So personally Fix the agreement mistake
others
i
believe that high schools should have Unpaid community services as their compulsory course.Change the capitalization
I
Submitted by saranshs712 on
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grammar
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that should be addressed to improve clarity.
coherence
The structure of the essay could be made more logical by using clearer topic sentences and more effective transitions between ideas.
task response
Try to provide more specific examples to make your points more compelling and well-supported.
clarity
The essay provides a clear stance on the issue and addresses both the benefits of charity work and its impact on high school students.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of implementing unpaid community services as part of high school programs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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