Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governmnents must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
The government
fundings
which Fix the agreement mistake
funding
are
given to Correct subject-verb agreement
is
arts
, like theatre and music, is considered a bad financial decision. Instead
, it is a much better decision to allocate the money to fund public services
. I partly agree on
Change preposition
with
this
statement and I will explain below.
Public services
, mainly infrastructure, benefit majority
of Add an article
the majority
people
in many countries. The money which the goverment
allocates to build tunnels, fly-overs and Correct your spelling
government
highway
Fix the agreement mistake
highways
satifies
a Correct your spelling
satisfies
big
number of Correct word choice
large
people
in the country. Moreover
, public transportations also
help people
to commute without the need of having
their own vehicle. Singapore is Change preposition
to have
the
prime example of a country that has Correct article usage
a
great
allocation Add an article
a great
for
money to provide public Change preposition
of
services
. The country has options of
Change preposition
for
convinient
public transportation, Correct your spelling
convenient
such
as bus
and MRT, and they build Fix the agreement mistake
buses
roof
for Fix the agreement mistake
roofs
the
Correct article usage
apply
pedestrian
to walk without having to worry about Fix the agreement mistake
pedestrians
weather
. Correct article usage
the weather
As a result
, goverment
investment Correct your spelling
government
aiming
Wrong verb form
aimed
to
Change preposition
at
general
public brings more advantages than just focusing on one area of interest.
Governments can Add an article
the general
also
invest to
Change preposition
in
arts
if they wish, but they need to benefit the general public as well. They can build an art centre for everyone
, which can be use
to develop Change the verb form
be used
people
skills and to exhibit their talent. Providing a place for development for those who are interested in Change noun form
people's
arts
, and also
offering new form
of entertainment for Fix the agreement mistake
forms
general
public is the best way to fund a specific area of interest. Add an article
the general
For example
, an annual event that is
held in Medan named 'PRSU' is known to introduce new talents from the city where they perform interesting musical performances which is
free for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
everyone
to come and see. Therefore
, it is not only artists who get the advantages, but everyone
can also
enjoy the arts
.
In conclusion, while
it is true that Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
needs to prioritize public Correct your spelling
government
services
rather than arts
, I believe that if they combine the two ideas and create an art centre to benefit Correct article usage
the arts
everyone
and not only a limited number of people
, it would bring advantages to both parties.Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on
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task achievement
To enhance the strength of your arguments, ensure that each main point is supported with more detailed and specific examples. This will make your essay more convincing and substantive.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical and spelling errors, such as correct the spelling of 'fundings' to 'funding,' 'satifies' to 'satisfies,' and 'convinient' to 'convenient.' Improving accuracy will contribute positively to readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and consistent structure with a logical flow of ideas. Both introduction and conclusion nicely frame the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both aspects of the question and provided a balanced view. Your ideas are clear and relevant.
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