The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays,
due to
the rapid development of new technology, there are various big changes in our daily lives, and
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
helps enhance our life conveniently. From my perspective,
science
is significant
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. There are 3 reasons why the
science
is the essential point. First of all,
the
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apply
show examples
science
can improve
people
's workflow efficiently.
For example
, because of the development of artificial intelligence, many
archeologists
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archaeologists
show examples
are able to reduce
time
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the time
show examples
to analyze
the
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apply
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ancient words.
Besides
, lots of farmers control the drones which
is included
Wrong verb form
include
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the
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apply
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AI technology to check their agriculture status or water the plantations quickly. The second one is that
science
enhances
offers
Correct word choice
and offers
show examples
many opportunities for young
people
.
In other words
, it is easy to access to learn programming rather than
other study
Change the wording
another study
other studies
show examples
.
For example
, if they don't know something, they just use AI to gain
the
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apply
show examples
knowledge rapidly.
Besides
, after launching chat GPT, lots of students ask some easier questions for GPT rather than
ask for
Wrong verb form
asking
show examples
their lecturers or teachers. The
last
reason is that
science
assists
people
to create everything. When
people
use
the
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apply
show examples
science
,
people
can apply
their
Change the word
the
show examples
knowledge they know with
science
to make something
innovated
Replace the word
innovative
show examples
,
such
as I phone, chat GPT, AI English tutor, laptops, internet, various operating systems, CPU
and
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apply
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etc.
Thus
,
science
is the essential method to improve
the
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apply
show examples
daily life efficiently.
Science
enables
people
to improve their workflow smoothly and
also
give
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gives
show examples
colourful chances for many young
people
. Thanks to
existing
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the existence of
show examples
the fundamentals of
the
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apply
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science
, there is today we are willing to live.
Submitted by lizehua041210 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs to enhance logical structure.
task achievement
Ensure all points made are thoroughly explained and supported with relevant examples.
general
Pay attention to grammar and word choice to ensure the essay reads smoothly and accurately.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the context of the essay by referencing the role of science in modern life.
logical structure
Each paragraph presents a distinct reason supporting the main argument, maintaining the essay’s focus.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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