Some people think that there are things individuals can do to help prevent global climate change. Others believe that action by individuals is useless and irrelevant and that it is only governments and large businesses which can make a difference. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

To start with, I am going to focus on the point that,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
cleanliness is everyone’s responsibility and if a country or place is not liveable, the people that live in the country or that place should be held responsible for keeping it clean and sustainable for human
as well as
animal life. Individuals have a role to play in keeping their surroundings clean and governments have their own set of duties that they should be performing. With the advent of technology and since the industrial revolution started, the planet’s living conditions have been deteriorating every year. New industries are getting developed and
due to
the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
various new technical devices and the materials used in those, it becomes very difficult to ensure that the production processes of those items are environment friendly. For
individuals
Add a comma
individuals,
show examples
the main role is to make sure they are
disposing
Add the preposition
disposing of
show examples
the items they are consuming daily like, plastic bags, disposable cups and plates, wrappers and
card board
Correct your spelling
cardboard
show examples
boxes etc.
The basic
Correct article usage
Basic
show examples
education in schools can help people understand the importance of cleanliness at a very early age. There are certain cleaning
drive’s
Change noun form
drives
show examples
also
arranged by groups that can help shape the importance of clean environments. Governments and big businesses
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
show examples
the other hand, hold their duties
according to
the circle of influence they have over their subordinates and premises. Governments can implement and enforce
such
laws which can help to lay down certain processes with which the garbage and produced silage from the industrial plants can be destroyed properly. Garbage collection and
disposing it is
Wrong verb form
disposal
show examples
a very important
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
society. Some countries have
also
developed
such
plants that process the garbage and produce electricity from it.
Other’s
Change noun form
Others
show examples
create
bio degradable
Add a hyphen
bio-degradable
show examples
fuel which is used for burning.
Moreover
, it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
general responsibility of each and
everyone
Correct your spelling
every one
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to keep your
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
clean and liveable for current
as well as
future generations to come.
Submitted by salman.saeed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay comprehensively addresses both views, which shows a good understanding of the topic. However, ensure your introduction more clearly outlines both perspectives to give a balanced start to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is clear in its presentation of ideas, but the flow between paragraphs can be improved. Make sure each paragraph naturally leads to the next with smooth transitions.
task achievement
Adding more specific examples and evidence can strengthen your points. While you do mention school education and industrial laws, adding detailed instances or statistics could provide stronger support for your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion more decisively summarizes your stance and reiterates the main points from the body paragraphs. This will provide a stronger end to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good command of the topic by discussing both individual and governmental roles in preventing climate change.
coherence and cohesion
You have organized your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a specific aspect of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable modes of transportation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy sources
  • incentives
  • eco-friendly habits
  • mitigation
  • recycling
  • energy-efficient appliances
  • emission standards
  • green technology
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • industrial waste
  • collaborative efforts
  • combating climate change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: