Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favoring more computer-based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this?
Nowadays, numerous students prefer to study
computer based
subjects Add a hyphen
computer-based
instead
of learning science at educational institutions. This
can lead to a negative development in the future.
Studying, computer-based
subject is crucial for Correct article usage
a computer-based
Add an article
the student
a student
student
. They have Fix the agreement mistake
students
computer
skills
, which is important in the future. For example
, today most offices are likely
to hire Correct quantifier usage
more likely
individuals
who have computer
skills
than people who do not have computer
skills
. This
depicts that computer
skills
is
necessary. Change the verb form
are
During
learning Change preposition
While
computer
subjects, some students may very
into it, so they may continue their learning in Add a missing verb
be very
this
fields
. It can lead to having a career in Fix the agreement mistake
field
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
fields
. The technology industries in that Fix the agreement mistake
field
nations
will improve over the period. In the end, Fix the agreement mistake
nation
they
country will be a developed Correct your spelling
the
nations
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
nation
On the other hand
, many student
are Change to a plural noun
students
likely
to study Correct quantifier usage
more likely
computer
based than studying science at school. It can conceives
Verb problem
have
a negative impacts
on that country in numerous terms, Correct the article-noun agreement
negative impacts
a negative impact
such
as their
young
academics do not have critical thinking Capitalize word
Young
skills
and medical equipments
will be less. Children do not practice Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
on
Change preposition
apply
a
critical thinking Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
skills
, which they can get
easily to Verb problem
apply
delude
by someone. Wrong verb form
deluded
For example
, a person who does not have the
critical thinking Correct article usage
apply
skills
is likely to believe everything that someone said
even though it Wrong verb form
says
was
not true. Medical inventions will be less Wrong verb form
is
due to
fewer individuals
studying in the science field. For example
, medical inventions are not improving. Truly, we have many people who can invent it, but we do not have individuals
who can give information about medical
. Replace the word
medicine
This
brings to rates of death of patients will increase slightly.
In summary, computer based
subjects Add a hyphen
computer-based
conceive
a positive impact in many terms, Verb problem
have
such
as having a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
computer
skills
and the development in technology industries. In contrast
, it also
creates an adverse impact, such
as young individuals
do not have critical thinking skills
and the inventions of medical industries will be less.Submitted by Tiger23
on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift towards computer subjects over science. However, to improve, ensure that each point you make is fully developed. Offer more precise examples and elaborate on your reasons.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay needs some attention. While you provide an introduction and conclusion, your body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more logical flow between ideas. Use linking phrases to guide your reader through your arguments smoothly.
task achievement
Good job on providing both sides of the argument. It's evident that you've considered multiple perspectives, which is key in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion nicely sums up your viewpoint. This helps create a cohesive essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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