IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities form 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities form 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #form #predictions #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph gives data on the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in the period of 50 years, particularly from 1970 to 2020 with
projection
Fix the agreement mistake
projections
show examples
 for 2030 and 2040 in 4 different states of Asia, namely
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia and Thailand,
as well as
Linking Words
 Indonesia.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ratio of dwellers living in
cities
Use synonyms
 rather than rural areas grew in all 4 countries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage in 3 countries experienced only an upward trend, meanwhile in Phillippiness amount of people suddenly decreased in
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 years despite increasing in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 total number in the end.
In addition
Linking Words
, the maximum of the projection is expected in Malaysia,
while
Linking Words
 the minimum will be in Thailand. Just below 10% of local people preferred to live in big
cities
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Indonesia in 1970,
furthermore
Linking Words
, it is the lowest result in the provided picture.
However
Linking Words
, after a gradual increase over the years, predictions for 2040 show that about 60% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 will live in various
cities
Use synonyms
 there. Approximately 20% of the population of Thailand chose
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 lifestyle over the rural one in 1970 but after a noticeable
rise
Add a comma
rise,
show examples
 their number is going to be equal to almost 45%.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although
, in comparison with other countries more than 30% of
Philippines'
Correct article usage
the Philippines'
show examples
 society was living in
cities
Use synonyms
, their amount is not projected to change a lot as the ratio is forecasted to constitute around 50%. A sharp surge was seen in Malaysia where the indicator was equal to exactly 30% but is
waited
Wrong verb form
waiting
show examples
 to peak at nearly 90% in 2040.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words cities with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: