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Band 3

Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for the individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this?

#people #credit #cards #loans #debts #individuals #amounts #money
Myriads of
people
 are using credit cards or lending
money
 to
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 huge personal debts that they
perhaps
Add a missing verb
are perhaps
show examples
 not able to repay.It ought to be made more
ardous
Correct your spelling
arduous
 for
people
 to borrow huge
sum
Fix the agreement mistake
sums
show examples
 of
money
.
This
 essay will discuss
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why it is necessary to
implent
Correct your spelling
implement
implant
 strict rules and regulations in burrowing
money
 via credit cards or
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
.
To begin
 with,
people
 become more dependent on
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of credit cards which may result in no savings or
which render
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 them to incur heavy debts and sometimes they are compelled to sell their precious belongings in order to get rid of loans
Secondly
,some
people
 develop the habit of lending
money
 and consider it to be the easiest way of getting
money
however
 it
also
 sometimes
incite
Correct subject-verb agreement
incites
show examples
 burrowers to engage in
henios
Correct your spelling
heinous
 crimes to pay their
heft
Correct your spelling
heavy
show examples
 debts which would result in damaging
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
people
 should be encouraged to save at least little sum of
money
 to use in hard times
as well as
 government should be given
framework
Correct article usage
a framework
show examples
 by the experts to
reform
Verb problem
inform
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 about various
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to earn extra
money
 and give them
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
direct guidance to spend
money
 in a positive way and emphazie on saving
money
 during hardships.
Submitted by saraamdc2018 on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction provides a clear and concise overview of your main arguments. State clearly what you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Develop each main point with specific examples and further explanation to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and avoid repetition.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to punctuation and ensure you don't have run-on sentences. Break down complex sentences for clarity.
task achievement
You have clearly articulated the necessity of implementing stricter borrowing regulations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introductory sentence and an evident conclusion that summarizes your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • credit cards
  • loans
  • debts
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • stringent checks
  • balances
  • repaying
  • reckless spending
  • living beyond one's means
  • financial destabilization
  • regulations
  • cap (verb)
  • income
  • financial commitments
  • mandatory financial education
  • financial decisions
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