Some people thnk that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #thnk #men #women #qualities #jobs

Some

people

believe that men's

jobs

are different from

women

jobs

,and vice versa. They

also

believe that the reason behind

this

is their different qualities. But some

people

strongly disagree with

this

point of view.

However

,I will be discussing both views.

People

who support the idea see that the way men's

body

is structured is different from the way

women

body

is built. And

therefore

,some

jobs

are not gender

oppropiate

Correct your spelling

appropriate

Therefore

there are multiple and different

jobs

for both genders.

Such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a teacher or a nurse for

women

. And a doctor

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

an engineer or even a construction worker.

That is

the

first

opinion and you may agree or disagree with it,but there are a lot of

people

that support it.

On the other hand

,some

people

believe that

jobs

should be the same for everyone. And that there is no

different

Replace the word

difference

show examples

between

women

body

composition and men's

body

composition.

Overall

,they consider the

first

view insult

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

reduce the value of

women

. So that the

women

can work in any field. In the end,

this

point of view has

began

Change the verb form

begun

show examples

to spread in recent years because of the feminist movement.

Finally

,I think that both opinions may have some truth,

while

they may

also

be wrong. But I think that the

first

opinion is more correct and more logical. So I prefer the

first

one. Some

people

may disagree with me but I accept all opinions.

Submitted by moh.alholimie on Mon Sep 30 2024

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task achievement

In the introduction, briefly state your main argument or stance, so the reader knows what to expect from the essay.

task achievement

Use specific examples to illustrate your points. For example, mention specific jobs and explain why they are perceived to be gender-specific.

task achievement

Work on providing a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points and clearly restates your stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Organize your points more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and transitions smoothly to the next.

coherence cohesion

Provide more elaboration and explanation for each point you make to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses the given prompt and discusses both viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people thnk that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that anyone can create art, such as painting, poetry, music, etc. Others think that a person should have special abilities to create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words

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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?