Should high school students be required to study many different subjects at the same time, or should they study only three or four subjects at a time? Do you agree or disagree?

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Often times
students
are required to
study
multiple
subjects
at the same time and
this
may cause some stress, but if they have a say on the
subjects
they would like to
study
they would get conflicted from choosing many varying options. I personally believe that
students
should
study
many
subjects
at the same time and
this
essay will discuss the reasons why. The curriculum applied
into
Change preposition
to
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the education system nowadays ensures
students
are obligated to take many courses or
subjects
to empower their educational prowess, in which the material may range from easy to difficult and that may cause distress, confusion, and loss of motivation. Despite that, I believe that
within
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the struggles of keeping up with the studies and research,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would benefit the student in "finding their true self". Rather than limiting to only a few options,
students
can figure out which
subjects
they despise or love.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
may help in
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
something they are truly passionate about, resulting in finding a career field they could pursue post their studies. A few schools have been trying to implement the system of only choosing select topics of
study
for their
students
, even
so
Add the comma(s)
so,
show examples
results have not shown positive feedback.
The human
Correct article usage
Human
show examples
nature is always curious, wanting to figure out what things are, how things work, and why things are the way they are.
Thus
, it is impossible to figure out what you truly enjoy by limiting the experiences and studies in your school years.
To conclude
,
while
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
subjects
may result in less stress and work. Curiosity is inevitable and by limiting yourself in the fields of
study
, that curiosity will never be satisfied.
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on

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task achievement
While your essay deals comprehensively with the topic, it would benefit from more specific examples to bolster your arguments. Try to include particular scenarios or case studies to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Although the structure of your essay is generally logical, it would improve coherence if you link your ideas between sentences and paragraphs more explicitly. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and help frame the essay well. Ensure that every paragraph has a clear, single focus to maintain this high standard throughout your essay.
task achievement
There is a good foundation of ideas, but the points can be more clearly organized within paragraphs. Aim for one main idea per paragraph and support it with concrete evidence or examples.
task achievement
Your introduction fully sets the stage for the discussion and clearly states your perspective. This is a strong way to begin.
coherence cohesion
Your essay conclusion effectively summarizes your main viewpoint and reinforces your argument. This helps frame your argument cohesively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broad knowledge base
  • general education
  • diverse skill sets
  • proficient
  • depth of understanding
  • discover interests and talents
  • future career choices
  • student burnout
  • mental health
  • academic performance
  • well-rounded individuals
  • adaptable
  • approach problems
  • diverse subject load
  • manage time effectively
  • deeper learning outcomes
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