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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004 Summarise the information by selecting and repoting the main features, and make comparations where relevant

the graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004 Summarise the information by selecting and repoting the main features, and make comparations where relevant
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparations
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The line chart below displays a European country, the intake of
chicken
Use synonyms
 and other types of meat,
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1979
to2004
Change preposition
to to2004
show examples
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
, the
chicken
Use synonyms
 had
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
 10 years
while
Linking Words
 the beef and lamb had
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a significant decrease in
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consumption, and fish had
flutuation
Correct article usage
a flutuation
show examples
 during
this
Linking Words
 period. It can be seen in 1979 beef was the most popular of these
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
, with around 250 grams eaten per person per week,
whereas
Linking Words
 lamb and
chicken
Use synonyms
 were consumed in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 quantities around 150 g,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 fish was much less intaken just over 50 grams per week.
However
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 period
25
Change preposition
of 25
show examples
 years the intake of lamb fell dramatically to approximately 50 g,
while
Linking Words
 beef had a decline of 100 grams,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 fish had a variation of 55 g. Moving ahead in these years showed an abrupt trend
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
chicken
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the popularity of these other
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
to dip
Change the verb form
dipped
show examples
 over the period.
Submitted by dannyrrng33 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chicken with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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