The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
the chart shows the average between the males and females working in four countries between 60-64 years in the time from 1790-2000, the
percentage
shown higher in 1970 compared to the
percentage
in 2000 in all counties in 1970 the
percentage
started low at 73% in the USA
while
got the maximum
percentage
in Japan with 84% ,
therefore
the
percentage
was 74% in Australia and 79% in
Beigium
Correct your spelling
Belgium
.so the peak was in Japan at 84%
while
the lowest point was in the USA with 73%. in 2000 the
percentage
dramatically changed the peak still in Japan at 76%
while
the low point changed to Belgium with only 19%, and the rest of the four countries like Australia came with 47% and the USA at 55%
Overall
, beyond a shadow of a
doubt
Add a comma
doubt,
show examples
the average of men's and women's employment
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed and got lower in 2000 compared with the average in 1970.
Submitted by Mido  on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • percentage
  • trend
  • significant change
  • overall employment
  • societal changes
  • economic conditions
  • government policies
  • compare
  • highlight
  • individual country analysis
  • increased/decreased
  • similarities and differences
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