The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. 

Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
The tabular representation demonstrates the statistics of
citizens
Fix the agreement mistake
citizen numbers
show examples
number
from various groups from 2011 and 2012 in New Zealand.
Overall
,it is clearly apparent that the
number
it is apparent that the units of adult people was higher in both years. Meanwhile, the
number
of mid-aged population had the highest growth rate. On the one hand, the figure of the total population in New Zealand
was grown
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
in 2012 to 44,10,284 which was previously 23,81,269 in 2011.
Similarly
, the highest portion of residents ranged between the ages of 15-39 in both years even after having a slight decline of -0.2%.
In addition
, the
number
of mature populace from 40-64 had
subsequently
risen from 13,31,907 in 2011 to 13,39,898 in 2012.
On the other hand
, there was
minimal
Add an article
a minimal
the minimal
show examples
decline in the integer of teenagers by -0.2%.
Likewise
, the
number
of teenagers was 8,98,160 in 2011 which fell to 8,96,364 in 2012.
Nevertheless
, the fewest quota of masses was older persons over the age of 65 with a total quantity of 5,73,496 in 2011 which increased by 4% to reach 5,96,903 in 2012 .
Submitted by cranjal07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!