Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
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day and age, some people hold a belief that private health care should not be operated for commercial
purpose
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purposes
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.
While
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the private sector could admittedly raise some concerns, I would argue that its benefits are more substantial and should not be dismissed. On the one hand, the commercialization of healthcare can be detrimental in certain cases. First of all, private health care services cost
is
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are
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exorbitant,
therefore
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, it is only restricted to the affluent class.
As a result
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, the lower class
who
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apply
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can not afford
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this
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these
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costly medical services. Not only the low accessibility
this
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type of service sometimes is not without overmedicalization. Patients are forced to take certain excessive procedures or unnecessary experiments with the purpose of gaining more money for the private centre.
However
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,
this
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phenomenon only exists in some extreme cases, most of the doctors and
staffs
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staff
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in the private
sectors
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sector
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follow the general medical standard.
On the other hand
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, I
convinced
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am convinced
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that the aforementioned
drawbaks
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drawbacks
drawback
pale in significance when compared to the benefit of private medical services. In terms
od
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of
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individuals, patients using the private service will have a better experience because they
could
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can
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save time and
efforts
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effort
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when waiting for their turns, compared to the public hospitals.
Furthermore
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,
the
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apply
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private
centers
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centres
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can help ease the burdens of
the
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apply
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public health care as they have to deal with the shortage of
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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and cutting-edge technology in medication. Nowadays, when more and more patients
going
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go
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to the private
sectors
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sector
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, the problem of overloading and overcrowding in public hospitals has been mitigated. In conclusion, despite certain disadvantages that costly expense and overmedication can bring, I would contend that the advantages are far more pronounced.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

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task achievement
Focus on including relevant examples to support your arguments more effectively. Try to provide real-world situations where private healthcare benefits or harms society to make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and minor grammatical mistakes, such as 'odontology' instead of 'odentology', which can affect clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets out the topic and the writer’s own stance, providing a clear direction for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position, leaving a lasting impression.
logical structure
The essay logically presents both sides of the argument, ensuring a balanced discussion before the writer provides their own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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