The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Driving is always a convenient way for people to go out. Since the appearance of the first car on British
roads
in 1888,
vehicles
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
used more frequently. Currently, it is not surprising to see plenty of
cars
, buses, etc running on the
roads
. In view of
this
situation, it is suggested that more types of
transport
should be promoted and
laws
should be made. Personally, I agree that there is a need to do something in order to alleviate the problem of
such
a large amount of
vehicles
on the
roads
. First and foremost, driving
vehicles
aggravates global warming,
therefore
Correct subject-verb agreement
transport
show examples
transports
Correct subject-verb agreement
transport
show examples
that
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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more environmentally friendly should be encouraged to replace the huge usage of
cars
. It is known that driving
cars
is always
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main reason for global warming. Greenhouse
gasses
Correct your spelling
gases
show examples
are produced during the process of driving and causing air pollution. If more and more
cars
keep appearing on the
roads
, it will apparently worsen the scenario.
Hence
, a different way of transportation should be promoted
instead
of relying on driving
vehicles
.
For example
, rail
transport
can be encouraged. It can carry a lot of passengers at once
while
cars
can only carry 5 people. In the long run, it is obvious that by taking rail
transport
, the air pollutants produced are much less than taking
cars
.
Moreover
, too many
vehicles
on
roads
may cause traffic jams, so international
laws
should be launched to control
such
situations. In Hong Kong, people maintain a busy life. Especially in the morning of the working days, traffic jams happen commonly and subways
as well as
highways are always full of
vehicles
. To relieve
such
conditions, governors should make international
laws
collaboratively whereby the ownership and usage of
cars
must be registered. By putting the ownership and use of
cars
under control, the number of
vehicles
on
roads
will become more stable but not increase dramatically.
To sum up
, owing to the above reasons,
although
it is undeniable that
cars
do bring us an advantage as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can bring us from one place to another easily, too many
cars
may make the shortcomings outweigh the benefits.
Thus
, alternative forms of
transport
and
laws
for
controlling
Replace the word
control
show examples
should be promoted.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Try to deepen your discussion of the proposed solutions, such as how alternative forms of transport could be realistically implemented or how international laws could be enforced and accepted globally.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is consistently supported with examples, as some parts were less developed than others.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and attempts to explore the issue from different perspectives, such as environmental concerns and traffic congestion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with a clear introduction, followed by body paragraphs and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
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