IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Undoubtedly,
due to
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 globalization and development in the various cities of the world,
along with
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 the population, the problem of congestion on the roads is
also
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 escalating.
This
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 debatable issue and its solutions are discussed in
this
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 essay with examples from my own understanding. To commence with, The traffic on the streets and its impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society or on
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 life is very persistent.
Firstly
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, the biggest
underliying
Correct your spelling
underlying
 cause of it is
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
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 in the number of car owners. Owing to
this
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, society is facing multiple challenges.
For example
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, I have seen that when the emergency services need clear access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the road to reach for help, they get delayed because of traffic.
Secondly
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, the
heavly
Correct your spelling
heavy
heavily
 flow of vehicles on the highways can impact a person's work and personal life because of being late.
Consequently
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, pollution is
also
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 one of the
impediment
Change to a plural noun
impediments
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 on the earth
as a consequence
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 of traffic and
emission
Correct article usage
the emission
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 of
carbondioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles.
Moreover
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, these issues are
getting
Verb problem
being
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 addressed by the government these days The authorities are trying to initiate some actions to solve
this
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 Disparity.
For instance
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, as I have seen council encourages the use of public transport and
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 can help to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air contamination and
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
automoblies
Correct your spelling
automobiles
 by
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
show examples
 these measures.
Furthermore
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, in some countries
such
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 as New
Zealnd
Correct your spelling
Zealand
, the public administration has imposed road user charges for both diesel and petrol
vehicels
Correct your spelling
vehicles
.
Also
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, the civil service has introduced charges for congestion on the roads in some of the busiest cities like Auckland.
To conclude
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, I would say that, solving a global issue is not easy but the joint efforts of society and government can mitigate
this
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 problem.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and is well-connected to the preceding and following sections.
general
Some sentences have minor grammatical errors. Review your essay for grammatical accuracy to make your argument more compelling.
general
Use more varied vocabulary to enhance the richness of your writing.
task response
Provide more specific examples to clearly support your arguments, making them more persuasive.
introduction and conclusion
You have introduced the topic effectively, and your conclusion neatly sums up your discussion.
logical structure
Your essay shows a logical flow, with your points laid out clearly.
supported main points
You've utilized examples to support your arguments, which helps strengthen your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • idling vehicles
  • greenhouse gases
  • urban sprawl
  • road rage
  • leisure activities
  • economic consequences
  • productivity
  • public transportation
  • emissions
  • quality of life
  • fuel consumption
  • environmental damage
  • stress and anxiety
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