The pie charts below present the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Graphs
ilustrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
rate
of online Correct article usage
the rate
sales
for 4 different retail sectors in New Zeeland between 2003 and 2013.
It is evident that in 2003 the (most popular) highest percentage of online
sales
was
Change the verb form
were
travel
and the Least relevent
was books. But after 10 years Correct your spelling
relevant
period
it Add a comma
period,
changes
from Wrong verb form
changed
travel
to film music
of biggest
part of Correct article usage
the biggest
chart
, Add an article
the chart
meanwhile
the lowest became to Add a comma
meanwhile,
be
Change the verb form
be clothed
be clothing
clothes
.
In the diagram of 2003 travel
online sales
used to be 36%, but it had significant
decline to 29%0 in 2013.
Correct article usage
a significant
While
the clothes
saw) As a
Remove the article
travel
a journey
a trip
travel
, clothes
was roughly 25% at the start in 2003, although
it
experience Change the pronoun
its
drop
to 16% at the over 10 years.
Change the verb form
drops
Whereas
both books and film/ music
have started from
at 19% and 21%, respectively. these trends were Change preposition
apply
fallowed
by rapid increase. Books Correct your spelling
followed
rised
up to 22%. Correct your spelling
rose
While
film and music
percentage of online sales
climbed for
33 % becoming Change preposition
by
main
part of online Add an article
the main
a main
sales
for retail sectors.
In conclusion , all the retail sectors changed through 10 year period the sales
of travel
and clothes
slide
away , Wrong verb form
slid
while
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
along with
films /music
grew.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, travel, music, clothes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼