Many young people move out of their homes to live alone or to live with their friends. Some people think this is a good idea. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
an
contentious issue whether to move from parents Change the article
a
in
a young age or stay with them for a longer time. I concur living on your own or with friends is a better option to fully understand the reality of Change preposition
at
adults
life. In Fix the agreement mistake
adult
this
essay
I will elaborate on why I strongly stand for it.
Add a comma
essay,
To begin
with, having a
constant care makes us Remove the article
apply
anaware
of all responsibilities. If the family brings us to the doctor, Correct your spelling
unaware
aware
pay
for insurance and Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
handle
bills it makes us lazy. To mature we should find a way to manage our lives fully and the best solution for Correct subject-verb agreement
handles
that is
not to live in a family house.
Furthermore
, some people are not aware of how many things are done by their surrounding
. When their family dies they are overwhelmed by all Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
Correct article usage
the stuffs
stuffs
than need to handle and new obligations. They have Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
higher
chance Correct article usage
a higher
to get
depressed. By deciding to live on their own Change preposition
of getting
in
Change preposition
at
the
young age they make Correct article usage
a
this
process gradual. It prevents burning out at the beginning of an adult life.
Moreover
, its
good for the economy. If there Replace the word
it's
it is
is
more people responsible for Change the verb form
are
themselvs
there is more workforce. It Correct your spelling
themselves
bust
profit from taxes and Verb problem
can
helps
the country to develop faster. It increases Correct subject-verb agreement
help
a
need to build more houses, Correct article usage
the
creates
more Correct word choice
and creates
work places
and activities for people.
Correct your spelling
workplaces
To sum up
, moving allows to
understand Correct pronoun usage
us to
what
are tasks of every grown person. It is good to think about it earlier to not be Correct pronoun usage
apply
crashed
by too many Correct your spelling
crushed
of
things at once. Change preposition
apply
Also
, this
has a positive influence on the economy. Personally, I experienced that moving motivated me to take accountability for my own actions and start using more services and entertainment.Submitted by Aga
on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Each paragraph should transition smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point in the essay is fully supported and developed with examples or explanations. This will enhance the comprehensiveness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
task achievement
You have presented a complete response to the task by addressing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a generally logical structure, making it easy to follow the progression of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.