IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently purchased a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work properly. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter: Describe the problem with the equipment. Explain how this issue has affected you. State what you would like the store to do about it.

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Dear
Store
Use synonyms
 Manager, I was shopping with your
store
Use synonyms
 to purchase one of my Kitchen
ampliances
Correct your spelling
appliances
which is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Rice Cooker
last
Linking Words
 week.The brand of the product is Prestige and the
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
holding capacity is 500 ml. I have
cross checked
Add a hyphen
cross-checked
show examples
 the functionality of
heating
Correct article usage
the heating
show examples
 system when it turned
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on flash light
was keeps
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 flickering and could not able to adjust the timer properly and improper heating system.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 if the timer is
setup
Correct your spelling
set up
show examples
 for 10 min it is turning off automatically earlier than
actual
Correct article usage
the actual
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 setup
time
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 rice is not boiling properly which is forming lumps
due to
Linking Words
 less temperature
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
being passed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when I use
this
Linking Words
 product need to keep an eye continuously which is
bit
Correct article usage
a bit
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 uncomfortable. Suddenly the
flash light
Correct your spelling
flashlight
show examples
is turning
Wrong verb form
turned
show examples
 off and not sure about the boiled rice
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Which is
overwhelmed
Replace the word
overwhelming
show examples
 and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
called your
store
Use synonyms
 as soon
I
Correct word choice
as I
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noticed defects
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 product and the only option
provide
Change the form of the verb
provided
show examples
 was
visit
Fix the infinitive
to visit
show examples
 the
store
Use synonyms
 to resolve
this
Linking Words
 matter. Unfortunately, I live in Milton and your
store
Use synonyms
 is 2
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
 away and have prior appointments with family. As you realize it takes 4 hours of commuting back and forth. Fortunately, I have paid
Change preposition
for these
show examples
these
Change the determiner
this item
these items
show examples
item
Use synonyms
 using my CIBC credit card and have
scanned
Correct article usage
a scanned
show examples
 copy and attached
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
reference
Add an article
a reference
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 email. Would you be willing to provide
exchange
Correct article usage
an exchange
show examples
item
Use synonyms
 and service to pick up the
item
Use synonyms
 by
store
Use synonyms
 customer service
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 replace the
item
Use synonyms
 at the
time
Use synonyms
 of return? Your help in resolving
this
Linking Words
 matter is highly appreciated.
This
Linking Words
 will save 4 hours of commuting
time
Use synonyms
! Sincerely, Swathi Mutra.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar for better clarity. Consider breaking down complex sentences for ease of reading.
Task Achievement
Ensure all necessary details are included to fully describe the solution you seek, such as more specific information on how you would like the replacement process to proceed if possible.
Task Achievement
Your letter clearly describes the issue with the equipment and its impact on you.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is structured well with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Suitable Writing Tone
Good use of polite and formal language appropriate for addressing a store manager.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • malfunction
  • defective
  • purchase
  • receipt
  • warranty
  • inconvenience
  • remedy
  • replacement
  • refund
  • customer satisfaction
  • compensation
  • faulty
  • rectify
  • disruption
  • appreciate
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