It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?

These days, the number of citizens who choose to keep working even after their

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

has been increasing.

Along with

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this

Linking Words

trend, some nations raise the official

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

. I strongly support

this

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governmental decision for several reasons. The primary reason why I believe that the policy of raising the official

retirement

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age

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brings benefits rather than drawbacks is that a majority of employees will lose social connections after their

retirement

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. Taking Japan as an example, as workers have spent the majority of their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

working, they have fewer connections outside of their company.

Therefore

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, not a few retired people feel

lonliness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

after quitting their workplace where they have friends and colleagues.

Hence

Linking Words

, for their mental health, remaining

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

at their workplace longer will mitigate their worries after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirement

Use synonyms

. Another justification for my view is that

although

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physically

Correct article usage

the physically

show examples

active old individuals increase, many nations are facing

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

shorages

Correct your spelling

shortages

due to

Linking Words

a decrease in young generations. If the official

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

rises, companies will maintain their precious workforce longer.

As a result

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, they are less likely to lose their

enocomic

Correct your spelling

economic

impetus. On top of

this

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, governments will be

albe

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able

to procrastinate

to pay

Change preposition

in paying

show examples

pensions to retired people, resulting in the suppression of their

expenditure

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expenditures

show examples

. A good illustration is that the Japanese authorities have raised it step by step, and it led to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

positive consequences in reducing their budgets for pensions and allocating more money to others. In conclusion,

although

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it is still

controversy

Replace the word

controversial

show examples

to raise the official

age

Use synonyms

retirement

Use synonyms

, I vehemently agree with

this

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idea. From the

viewpooints

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viewpoints

viewpoint

of individual

phycological

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psychological

show examples

health and national economic situations, it is time to set the

retirement

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age

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to 65 years old or over 70.

takuya13sugimotoFri Oct 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Provide clearer transitions between points to enhance readability and connection of ideas.

task achievement

Incorporate a few more specific examples or statistics to bolster arguments and provide greater context.

coherence cohesion

Strong overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion present.

task achievement

Thorough response to the task with well-rounded arguments supporting the thesis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
economic necessity
financial insecurity
aging population
workforce diversity
knowledge transfer
cognitive benefits
age discrimination
physical capability

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It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?

Your opinion

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.

4.Many young people leave school with a negative attitude toward learning. What are the possible reasons for this? Suggest some solutions to address this problem.

You visited a hotel last week and left some items behind. Write a letter to the manager stating 1. Details of your stay 2. How important the items are to you 3. How you would want the items to the sent to you

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?