It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?

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It has become frequent among individuals to continue working for longer years in many parts of the world without the restriction of retirement

age

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

support

this

Linking Words

development, I tend to disagree with

this

Linking Words

because of

increasing

Correct article usage

the increasing

show examples

youth unemployment ratio and the inefficient output by elderly

people

Use synonyms

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

beyond 60. To commence with, the main reason why I do not support the aged

people

Use synonyms

to keep working after a certain

age

Use synonyms

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

in many countries joblessness is a growing concern.

As there

Correct word choice

There

show examples

are many graduates who are struggling to find a position because of

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of vacancies in every sector.

In other words

Linking Words

, it is the aged persons who create vacancies for

new comers

Correct your spelling

newcomers

show examples

when they get

retired

Wrong verb form

retire

show examples

timely. Take

Correct article usage

the

show examples

example of Japan, which has the highest percentage of

older

Add an article

the older

an older

show examples

population, faced

Remove the article

apply

show examples

huge unemployment in 2010 mainly

due to

Linking Words

senior individuals who kept working for longer

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, it seems evident to have a

fix

Change the verb form

fixed

show examples

age

Use synonyms

of giving up work to create adequate places for beginners each year.

Moreover

Linking Words

, another reason I believe would be the

less

Fix the agreement mistake

lower

show examples

productivity of senior citizens.

This

Linking Words

means that when

people

Use synonyms

cross three scores, they become less energetic and get fatigued earlier.

This

Linking Words

is certainly because by that

age

Use synonyms

body organs function slowly and

congitive

Correct your spelling

cognitive

abilities are restrained.

For instance

Linking Words

, senior folks are less likely to think in an innovative way and sometimes they are reluctant to cope with

contemporay

Correct your spelling

contemporary

advancements. Clearly, youngsters should be hired in order to ensure rapid growth and ingenuity

Change preposition

show examples

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

. In a nutshell,

rising

Correct article usage

the rising

show examples

joblessness of adults and reduced work efficiency of senior citizens are the leading factors which advocate the fact that we should not encourage to

extend

Replace the word

extension

show examples

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

retirement

age

Use synonyms

muaaztousif2105Sat Oct 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea, supported by relevant information and examples. Consider expanding on examples to deepen the argument.

task achievement

Maintain a consistent level of formality throughout the essay while ensuring arguments are thoroughly developed.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.

coherence cohesion

Argument development is logical, with each paragraph focused on a specific point related to the main topic.

task achievement

The ideas presented are pertinent to the topic and illustrate the writer's perspective clearly.

task achievement

The essay includes examples, like Japan's situation, which support the argument effectively.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
economic necessity
financial insecurity
aging population
workforce diversity
knowledge transfer
cognitive benefits
age discrimination
physical capability

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It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both side individuals and companies to shopping online ?

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarket is going money to schools to promote their products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's worl, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.