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Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show the changes that took place at a science and technology museum between 1996 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the changes that took place at a science and technology museum between 1996 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps compare how the layout of
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
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 and Technology Museum changed from 1996 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there were major changes in the types of facilities and displays in the museum.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a slight change was featured in the parking
area
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. When we entered the building from a parking
area
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, we faced a reception
area
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 that was expanded in 2016. There was a cafe next to it which was later transformed into a restaurant. After
through
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apply
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these areas, a long print room on the right
side
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 in 1996 was replaced by a digital technology room and a small feature for 3D cinema by 2016. A library was relocated adjacent to a computer
area
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 where the writing desks
area
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 was previously featured.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the building was expanded by adding a small VR room on the right
side
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, located next to the library. Looking at the left
side
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,
while
Linking Words
 an exhibition for a diesel engine was modified
to
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into
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 an electric car display, a steam engine exhibition remained unchanged. On the other
side
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, a big solar wind
area
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 had been added after a decade.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the large car park was modified by adding a small space for bicycles which was directly accessed to the pathway for entering the museum.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "displays" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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