Nowadays, many people find it difficult to balance their work and personal lives. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees achieve a better work-life balance?
Recently, many
people
argue
that they find it difficult to find a balance between their Wrong verb form
have argued
career
and personal matters. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
This
mainly
because the cutting-edged technology removes the barrier between working and personal Add a missing verb
is mainly
time
and vice versa. Employers
need to have regulation
about working Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
time
limit
to prevent the employees Fix the agreement mistake
limits
being
Change preposition
from being
exploitated
.
Generally, Correct your spelling
exploited
the
technology has made working easier and even can be carried at home. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, this
has made the working time
more flexible than it was in the past when people
should
come to the workplace by 9 am. To some extent, technology makes working Verb problem
had
time
easy to detect as they
can store the Correct pronoun usage
it
time
and place people
spent
for work. Wrong verb form
spend
However
, this
practice will make the time
between working and personal lives become blurry. For instance
, people
can cater personal
matters during working hours, in reverse Change preposition
to personal
the
Correct article usage
apply
employers
can also
interfere them
during their leisure Change preposition
with them
time
.
In the foreseeable future, if this
matter is not handled wisely by the employers
, the objective of work-life balance is not going to be achieved and in return
it might exacerbate the Add a comma
return,
relation
Replace the word
relationship
of
both parties. Change preposition
between
Therefore
, an assert
Replace the word
assertive
regulation
for working time
is needed to make a clear line between professional and personal space. Furthermore
, the regulation
should reach consensus
from both parties rather than an imperative from Add an article
a consensus
employers
. When the consensus is agreed, incentives-disincentives should be enforced as consequences from
the agreement. Change preposition
of
For example
, enforcing additional pay as an incentive for an employee who work
overtime.
Change the verb form
works
To conclude
, it is feasible to reach a balance between professional and personal lives by enforcing working time
regulation
. A Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
legally-binding
agreement is needed for both parties to prevent any Correct your spelling
legally binding
breachment
.Correct your spelling
breach
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to address the reasons why people find it difficult to balance work and personal lives more explicitly. Mention additional factors or examples aside from technology that could contribute to this difficulty.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more relevant and specific examples for each point you make. This will help to illustrate your arguments and strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, transition smoothly between ideas within paragraphs. This will help maintain a logical flow and clarity across your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the central argument and summarizes the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
There is a well-maintained focus on the main topic: the difficulty of balancing work and life and the role of employers in achieving balance.