Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam''

It is apparent that traffic congestion is now
crucial
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a crucial
show examples
issue around the world, caused by
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
number of
car
ownership. In my point of view, I agree with
this
statement and some of
Add an article
the solution
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
should be held by
government
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the government
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, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. In
present
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the present
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day,
people
tend to have their own
car
rather than
using
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use
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public transport affected by many reasons. It is apparent that
rise
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the rise
show examples
in options of affordable cars
have been
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has
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affected the number of
people
using
car
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cars
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because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
lower price and higher quality compared to the past.
For instance
, electronic
vehicle
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vehicles
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,
EV
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EVs
show examples
in abbreviate,
is
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are
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now popular
due to
its
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their
show examples
innovative functions. Because of flueless ability,
people
nowadays tend to buy
new
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a new
show examples
car
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cars
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, especially EV
car
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cars
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,
in
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with
show examples
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the intension
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intension
Replace the word
intention
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to lower
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of lowering
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daily living
cost
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costs
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.
This
can lead to
dramatically
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dramatic
show examples
traffic congestion in many cities. Take Bangkok
for example
,
people
, working in the
central
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centre
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of the city, might take two hours to commute between their house and workplace, despite five
kilometers
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kilometres
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in distance.
Moreover
, from the information published by
government
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the government
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, approximately 80
percents
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per cent
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of graduated
people
working in Bangkok use their own
car
to drive to work. In my opinion, there are two sensible solutions that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
can provide to citizens in order to reduce
this
problem.
Firstly
,
connection
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the connection
a connection
show examples
of public transport should be easy to reach any place in the city.
For example
,
people
design to drive their own
car
if he or she must face many transfers.
Secondly
, price plays an important role
how
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in how
show examples
people
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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transport
option
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options
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.
Government
should revise transportation
fee
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fees
show examples
to match their citizen standard income. To summarize, it is empirical evidence that
increase
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an increase
show examples
in
car
ownership strongly
relate
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relates
show examples
to traffic congestion. From my perspective,
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
promotion can relieve
this
issue with well cooperation of citizens.
Submitted by narnrs1 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion. However, the logical flow between paragraphs needs enhancement to improve the connection of ideas. Consider using linking words or phrases to ensure a smoother transition.
task achievement
While the essay discusses the issue and provides some solutions, further development of main ideas with clearer examples and explanations would enhance task achievement. The solutions could be expanded with more detail and varied examples to illustrate the points better.
task achievement
Some ideas appear underdeveloped, impacting the clarity and depth of the essay. Aim to provide more expansive explanations and support with specific examples for a better score in the task response category.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear standpoint on the issue, setting a solid foundation for the discussion.
relevant specific examples
Provides relevant examples, such as the use of EVs and the situation in Bangkok, which support the main points and show a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • daily commute
  • quality of life
  • environmental impact
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • congestion charge
  • car dependency
  • urban planning
  • economic implications
  • road maintenance
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