Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam''

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #n #ow #traffic #jam

It is apparent that traffic congestion is now

crucial

Correct article usage

a crucial

show examples

issue around the world, caused by

increase

Correct article usage

the increase

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

number of

car

ownership. In my point of view, I agree with

this

statement and some of

Add an article

the solution

show examples

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

should be held by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. In

present

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the present

show examples

day,

people

tend to have their own

car

rather than

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

public transport affected by many reasons. It is apparent that

rise

Correct article usage

the rise

show examples

in options of affordable cars

have been

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

affected the number of

people

using

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

show examples

because of

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

lower price and higher quality compared to the past.

For instance

, electronic

vehicle

Fix the agreement mistake

vehicles

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

EVs

show examples

in abbreviate,

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

now popular

due to

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

innovative functions. Because of flueless ability,

people

nowadays tend to buy

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

show examples

, especially EV

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

Correct article usage

the intension

show examples

intension

Replace the word

intention

show examples

to lower

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of lowering

show examples

daily living

cost

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costs

show examples

This

can lead to

dramatically

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dramatic

show examples

traffic congestion in many cities. Take Bangkok

for example

people

, working in the

central

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centre

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of the city, might take two hours to commute between their house and workplace, despite five

kilometers

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kilometres

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in distance.

Moreover

, from the information published by

government

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the government

show examples

, approximately 80

percents

Correct your spelling

per cent

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of graduated

people

working in Bangkok use their own

car

to drive to work. In my opinion, there are two sensible solutions that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can provide to citizens in order to reduce

this

problem.

Firstly

connection

Add an article

the connection

a connection

show examples

of public transport should be easy to reach any place in the city.

For example

people

design to drive their own

car

if he or she must face many transfers.

Secondly

, price plays an important role

how

Change preposition

in how

show examples

people

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

transport

option

Fix the agreement mistake

options

show examples

Government

should revise transportation

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

to match their citizen standard income. To summarize, it is empirical evidence that

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

car

ownership strongly

relate

Correct subject-verb agreement

relates

show examples

to traffic congestion. From my perspective,

government’s

Correct article usage

the government’s

show examples

promotion can relieve

this

issue with well cooperation of citizens.

Submitted by narnrs1 on Sat Oct 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay provides a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion. However, the logical flow between paragraphs needs enhancement to improve the connection of ideas. Consider using linking words or phrases to ensure a smoother transition.

task achievement

While the essay discusses the issue and provides some solutions, further development of main ideas with clearer examples and explanations would enhance task achievement. The solutions could be expanded with more detail and varied examples to illustrate the points better.

task achievement

Some ideas appear underdeveloped, impacting the clarity and depth of the essay. Aim to provide more expansive explanations and support with specific examples for a better score in the task response category.

introduction conclusion present

The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear standpoint on the issue, setting a solid foundation for the discussion.

relevant specific examples

Provides relevant examples, such as the use of EVs and the situation in Bangkok, which support the main points and show a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

traffic congestion
urban areas
daily commute
quality of life
environmental impact
pollution
climate change
infrastructure
public transportation
carpooling
congestion charge
car dependency
urban planning
economic implications
road maintenance

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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam''

Your opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that people should have a different amount of holidays according to their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?