IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam''

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It is apparent that traffic congestion is now
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 issue around the world, caused by
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 number of
car
Use synonyms
 ownership. In my point of view, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and some of
Add an article
the solution
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solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 should be held by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. In
present
Add an article
the present
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 day,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to have their own
car
Use synonyms
 rather than
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 public transport affected by many reasons. It is apparent that
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
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 in options of affordable cars
have been
Wrong verb form
has
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 affected the number of
people
Use synonyms
 using
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 lower price and higher quality compared to the past.
For instance
Linking Words
, electronic
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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,
EV
Fix the agreement mistake
EVs
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 in abbreviate,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 now popular
due to
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 innovative functions. Because of flueless ability,
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays tend to buy
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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, especially EV
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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,
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
Correct article usage
the intension
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intension
Replace the word
intention
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to lower
Change preposition
of lowering
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 daily living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to
dramatically
Change the word
dramatic
show examples
 traffic congestion in many cities. Take Bangkok
for example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
, working in the
central
Replace the word
centre
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 of the city, might take two hours to commute between their house and workplace, despite five
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
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 in distance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, from the information published by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
, approximately 80
percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
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 of graduated
people
Use synonyms
 working in Bangkok use their own
car
Use synonyms
 to drive to work. In my opinion, there are two sensible solutions that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can provide to citizens in order to reduce
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
connection
Add an article
the connection
a connection
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 of public transport should be easy to reach any place in the city.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 design to drive their own
car
Use synonyms
 if he or she must face many transfers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, price plays an important role
how
Change preposition
in how
show examples
people
Use synonyms
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 transport
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
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.
Government
Use synonyms
 should revise transportation
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 to match their citizen standard income. To summarize, it is empirical evidence that
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
car
Use synonyms
 ownership strongly
relate
Correct subject-verb agreement
relates
show examples
 to traffic congestion. From my perspective,
Use synonyms
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
 promotion can relieve
this
Linking Words
 issue with well cooperation of citizens.

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion. However, the logical flow between paragraphs needs enhancement to improve the connection of ideas. Consider using linking words or phrases to ensure a smoother transition.
task achievement
While the essay discusses the issue and provides some solutions, further development of main ideas with clearer examples and explanations would enhance task achievement. The solutions could be expanded with more detail and varied examples to illustrate the points better.
task achievement
Some ideas appear underdeveloped, impacting the clarity and depth of the essay. Aim to provide more expansive explanations and support with specific examples for a better score in the task response category.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear standpoint on the issue, setting a solid foundation for the discussion.
relevant specific examples
Provides relevant examples, such as the use of EVs and the situation in Bangkok, which support the main points and show a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • daily commute
  • quality of life
  • environmental impact
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • congestion charge
  • car dependency
  • urban planning
  • economic implications
  • road maintenance
What to do next:
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