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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph illustrates the change in the number of different species of
turtles
Use synonyms
, namely Leatherback, Green, Olive Ridley and
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
from 1980 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 of Olive Ridley
Turtles
Use synonyms
 had risen
while
Linking Words
 that of Leatherback had dropped significantly. Meanwhile, Green and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 of
turtles
Use synonyms
 had plateaued.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a continuous increase in the number of Olive Ridley
Turtles
Use synonyms
 was observed until 1997,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure only moved slightly for the rest of the period.
In particular
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 grew by 35% by 1997.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it did not go below 130% or above 140% of the original number at the beginning of
this
Linking Words
 record between 1997 and 2012.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Major drops took place three times in 2003, 2007 and 2012.
In addition
Linking Words
, the figure for Leatherback
Turtles
Use synonyms
 suffered from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 decline in
this
Linking Words
 duration.
Although
Linking Words
 it increased by approximately 10% in seven years from 1980, it kept decreasing to its minimum of 55% of the original
population
Use synonyms
 in 1980 by 2012.
However
Linking Words
, some minor rises were seen in 2000 and 2009.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words turtles, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population figures
  • types of turtles
  • increased
  • decreased
  • remained stable
  • highest population
  • lowest population
  • significant changes
  • trends
  • fluctuations
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