IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You live in an English speaking country and you want to do some voluntary, unpaid work in a developing country. Write a letter to a company called Cultural Expeditions, which organizes such trips. In your letter: •Explain why you want to do the voluntary work. • State what your skills and experience are. • Indicate where you would like to volunteer and for how long. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir / Madam You should write at least 150 words. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

#english #country #work #company #expeditions #trips #•explain #skills #volunteer #sir #madam #minutes
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Dear sir, I am writing
this
 email to show my intention to apply for voluntary
work
 with the organization Cultural Expeditions in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 months.
Firstly
, a major reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to do social
work
 is that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 need voluntary
work
 experience as a part of my professional future because I am going to apply for a Police officer job.
Moreover
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have exceptional
skills
 which can help your organization in a vital way
such
 as
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
, interpersonal and hard worker
skills
.
In other words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have gained various
skills
 from my workplace
for example
 communication
skills
.
Also
, I want to do voluntary
work
 in India for a time period of one month which will be September
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2024.
That is
 because India
have got
Wrong verb form
has had
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a hard time
due to
 the heavy rain
last
 month,
therefore
, more and more people are in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
need of help. I hope
this
 time period and location will
work
you
Change preposition
for you
show examples
. I will be looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you. Regards, Ankit
Submitted by ankitkaushik4657 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single idea. For example, the paragraph discussing why you want to do voluntary work also mixes in your skills. Consider separating them into distinct paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the letter is logically structured, linking ideas clearly from one paragraph to the next. You could try to better organize the paragraphs to enhance the flow of information.
task achievement
You have included all the necessary information about your intention to volunteer, your skills, and your preferred location and duration, which fulfills the task requirements.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and polite, which is suitable for formal correspondence.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has an appropriate opening and closing, maintaining a courteous tone throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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