The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children ? Do you think this the best way to deal the problem ? what other solutions can you suggest ?

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In recent times obesity has
become
Verb problem
apply
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increased. Some believe that
sports
play an important role live there
for
Change preposition
apply
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, the
school
should increase of
time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
on
school
Add an article
a school
the school
show examples
in people's the amount to reduce the
problem
of overweight children. I think
this
would be beneficial for
students
and has many positive impacts.
This
essay will outline the main causes of increasing the number of hours in spending
mone
Correct your spelling
more
show examples
time
on
sports
.
To begin
, one of the first causes to be considered is that friendship
play
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plays
show examples
role
Correct article usage
a role
show examples
in encouraging
students
their weight. vital to •Doing sport with more
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
peers may be helpful and enjoyable.
For example
, my friend Fatma who suffered from Obesity was able to reduce her weight with the help of her friend.
Thus
, it promotes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense of collaboration between study
Other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
show examples
possible cause
time
Add a missing verb
is time
show examples
.
Students
can have
can
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apply
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more be is enough
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
in
school
rather than at home.
For instance
,
Students
time
with are empowered to spend more their family at home and study for their
school
. To address
this
problem
, parental guidance has a significant role in advising their
Children
Fix capitalization
children
show examples
to join in any
sports
such
as local
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
compeition
Correct your spelling
competition
in
siwmming
Correct your spelling
swimming
, walking and playing
foot ball
Correct your spelling
football
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the governments have the priority to educate the
sociteity
Correct your spelling
society
about the negative impacts. of overweight. The result conducted
Lat
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by Lat
show examples
Glasgow
uninesity
Correct your spelling
university
illustrates that 90% of scholarships help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals to know more about
this
problem
. In conclusion,
sports
Change the noun form
sport
show examples
is an
essentail
Correct your spelling
essential
thing in people's lives.
Therefore
, the governments should stop the idea of reducing the amount of
time
on sport in the
school
. I think that it is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
idea to spread the beneficial aspects of
sports
and encourage
students
to solve
this
problem
to prevent
from
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apply
show examples
many health
issne
Correct your spelling
issues
issue
like
daibete
Correct your spelling
diabetes
and heart pressure.
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logical structure
Focus on creating a clear and logical structure in your essay. Consider using clearer paragraph transitions and topic sentences to guide the reader more effectively through your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure your ideas are fully developed and expressed clearly. It is important to elaborate on each point to improve overall clarity and depth of analysis.
relevant specific examples
Work on including more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This helps in demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic and reinforces your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a framework for your argument and allowing the reader to understand your point of view from the outset.
supported main points
The essay discusses an important and relevant issue, offering some insight into potential solutions and the roles of schools and wider society.
complete response
You adequately addressed the task, discussing potential ways to tackle the problem of overweight children via increased sport and exercise.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • physical education
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • nutrition education
  • healthy eating habits
  • balanced meals
  • junk food
  • parental involvement
  • community initiatives
  • fitness programs
  • government policies
  • subsidies
  • multi-dimensional approach
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