IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In t.heir advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#heir #businesses #emphasis #products #development
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In modern times, advertisements of businesses put emphasis on the newness of their products and services. Behind
this
 marketing strategy is the intention to draw more customers to patronize what entrepreneurs are selling. In
this
essay
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essay,
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 I will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 why it is a negative development.
Firstly
,
commercials
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commercial
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 announcements of new or improved
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 is purely motivated to increase sales. It is a
falacy
Correct your spelling
fallacy
 to think that the improvements of the product
is
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are
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 impactful or designed for buyer's convenience. In fact, it is just purely a marketing strategy
inorder
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in order
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 for the people to buy what they already have.
Secondly
, the tactical move on advertising is to tighten up
competitions
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competition
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from
Change preposition
in
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 the industry.
As a result
 of
this
, consumers may switch choices and try what is new. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, I think it is a negative development. It creates a culture where
instead
 of honest quality improvement, manufacturers will rely on
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 and marketing. Both the consumer and business industry will have a toxic cycle. In conclusion, advertisement is a common way of introducing or launching
the
Correct article usage
a
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newness
Replace the word
new
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of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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product, yet it can
develop
Verb problem
have
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negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 impact on the business side.
Submitted by emmagallares on

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task achievement
Aim to develop your main points with more specific examples or evidence. This enhances credibility and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by making the transition between ideas smoother. Use a variety of linking words to show relationships between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify ideas and provide detailed explanations to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining a solid structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant argument against advertising emphasizing newness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionary
  • cutting-edge
  • innovative
  • groundbreaking
  • state-of-the-art
  • novelty
  • unique selling proposition (USP)
  • evolution
  • market differentiation
  • consumer appeal
  • technological breakthrough
  • brand image
  • consumer perception
  • value proposition
  • market saturation
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