IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#■the #information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years #■summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar chart
illustrat
Correct your spelling
illustrates
illustrate
 data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Charity in British people by different
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 between 1990 and 2010. As can be seen, In 1990 the average of
Charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
show examples
 were a higher number in Britain .
whill
Correct your spelling
while
will
 in 2010 the
percantag
Correct your spelling
percentage
percentages
 of Chiarity
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
, In 1990 the
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in Charity average to nearly 43%
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 People
Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
 36-50.
whill
Correct your spelling
will
, from 18-25
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
thire
Correct your spelling
there
 were slump to 16%. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
show examples
 in the Same
Use synonyms
years
Change to a genitive case
year's
years'
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Change preposition
of age
show examples
 from 26-
35
Add a comma
35,
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 fell gradually in ton 3% .
Moreover
Linking Words
 from 51-65
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
Use synonyms
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 were drop to 35%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, In 2010
Use synonyms
thir
Correct your spelling
their
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 increased gradually.from
age
Use synonyms
 18 to 25
thir
Use synonyms
 were fell to 6% .
whill
Correct your spelling
will
, from 51 -
65
Add a comma
65,
show examples
Use synonyms
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 were most higher number during
this
Linking Words
years
Use synonyms
 to under 40%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, from 36 to 50
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
Use synonyms
thir
Correct your spelling
they
 were the same personage .
In addition
Linking Words
, In 26-35
years
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 were
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to 24 % .
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that, In 1990
Use synonyms
thir
Correct your spelling
there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 over the
years
Use synonyms
 . Will in 2010
thir
Use synonyms
 were decreased.
Submitted by almay on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, thir with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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