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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the Internet everyday from 2003-2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the Internet everyday from 2003-2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #adults #age #groups #uk #internet #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart indicates the
rate
Use synonyms
 of various
age
Use synonyms
 ranges of adults who lived in the UK and used the Internet in their day-to-day life from the year of 2003 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
rates
Use synonyms
 were in fluctuating conditions and the percentage was mostly high for young
aged
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
users
Use synonyms
 throughout
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the years. The main
users
Use synonyms
 were basically the younger ones and the least
users
Use synonyms
 were from
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
 ones. The
users
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
16-24 were the highest in 2005 with a
rate
Use synonyms
 of 100%
whereas
Linking Words
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 was equal with a value of 80% both in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 and 2004.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 no
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 in 2003 from the
age
Use synonyms
 of 65+ and the percentage
raised up
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 a little bit in 2006. The
rates
Use synonyms
 of middle-aged persons increased gradually in those four years and the
rate
Use synonyms
 increased from 60% to 80%. It is seen from the range of 25-44 that the
rates
Use synonyms
 increased gradually like middle-aged ones and the
rate
Use synonyms
 went up from 50% to 80%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
rated
Replace the word
rates
show examples
 were fluctuating
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the range of 55-64 and the
rate
Use synonyms
 was the highest in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2006 with a value of 50%.
Although
Linking Words
 the mostly
users
Use synonyms
 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 were between 16 and 44
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the increment of
rates
Use synonyms
 was up with time regardless of their
age
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by writing9common on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, age, rates, users with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • adults
  • age groups
  • Internet
  • daily users
  • increase
  • significantly
  • highest
  • lowest
  • rise
  • contrast
  • smallest
  • followed closely by
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