In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, every time you turn on the TV or flick through the pages of a newspaper, you see the news about the unemployment rates in countries. The question arises in our mind, what is the reason behind it ? In many
states
it is assumed by the residents that they should not send their children to the schools because they will not have jobs in the Add a comma
states,
future
. I completely disagree with the idea and will support my opinion in this
essay.
Commencing the idea, it is true that unemployment is talk
of the town these daysCorrect article usage
the talk
,
because many nations in the world are facing Remove the comma
apply
this
hurdle and are trying to find measure
to overcome Fix the agreement mistake
measures
this
trouble. However
, less infrastracture
, no industrialization, corruption and Correct your spelling
infrastructure
hold
of undeserved candidates Correct article usage
a hold
on
suitable posts are the Change preposition
for
reason
behind Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
lack
of Correct article usage
the lack
job
facilities in the nations. For instance
, Pakistan is the one, who
stands high in Correct pronoun usage
that
this
regard and because of no work availability and corruption, the inhabitants are shifting to other states
for job
purposes. Therefore
, the country is trying its best to reduce the hurdles of residents. Recently, the authorities have signed the new project of the CPEC, which will not only be a source of connection but will also
brings
many Change the verb form
bring
job
opportunities in
the region.
Change preposition
to
Moreover
, the redidents
of nations are Correct your spelling
residents
hopleless
and many of them think that they should not send their Correct your spelling
hopeless
childrens
to Correct your spelling
children
the
primary and Correct article usage
apply
secondory
Correct your spelling
secondary
institues
for Correct your spelling
institutes
institute
education
because they will not find jobs in the future
, as huge
amount is invested Correct article usage
a huge
on
the Change preposition
in
education
of childrens
each year and still they are not able to find Correct your spelling
children
suitable
post for them. Add an article
a suitable
For example
, the parents of MBBS students, spend more than 1 crore on their degree, but still
Add a comma
still,
majorty
of them do not have Correct your spelling
majority
job
after Add an article
a job
completeing
their studies, which makes parents hopeless.
Well, in my opinion, I do not support Correct your spelling
completing
parents
decision Change noun form
parents'
parent's
of preventing
their Change preposition
to prevent
offsprings
from getting Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
education
because basic Add an article
an education
education
is important for every individual. Besides
, they are the future
of the nation, so they should be well trained
and educated enough to make their country glorious.
Add a hyphen
well-trained
Hence
, it is proven from the above arguments that no doubt states
are facing the
obstacles in providing employment to the public, but Correct article usage
apply
still
youngsters should not be prevented from getting Add a comma
still,
education
because the Add an article
an education
future
of the states
is in their hands.Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your arguments more clearly, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for better coherence.
task achievement
Include varied and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Check for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a comprehensive framework for your ideas.
task achievement
You have managed to articulate your disagreement with the premise clearly, providing a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address real-world examples related to unemployment, enhancing the context.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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