IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the weekly wages of full-time employed graduates across eight
age
Use synonyms
 groups in 2002,
categorized
Change the spelling
categorised
show examples
 by their educational qualifications.
Overall
Linking Words
, individuals with "Other" qualifications generally earned the most during their mid-careers,
while
Linking Words
 those with a first
degree
Use synonyms
 consistently recorded the lowest
earnings
Use synonyms
 across almost all
age
Use synonyms
 brackets.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
earnings
Use synonyms
 for all three groups rose significantly from youth before
stabilizing
Change the spelling
stabilising
show examples
 or fluctuating in the older demographics. Looking at the younger cohorts, employees aged 21–25 started with the lowest weekly
earnings
Use synonyms
. Specifically, those with a first
degree
Use synonyms
 made around £350,
while
Linking Words
 individuals with higher degrees and other qualifications earned roughly £380 and £420, respectively. Income for all groups climbed sharply over the next decade.
However
Linking Words
, the "Others" category experienced the most dramatic surge, peaking decisively at over £800 per week within the 36–40
age
Use synonyms
 frame.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
earnings
Use synonyms
 for
degree
Use synonyms
 holders peaked later in life. Individuals with a first
degree
Use synonyms
 reached their maximum salary of approximately £700 between the ages of 41 and 45, after which their income experienced a marginal decline. Meanwhile, those holding a higher
degree
Use synonyms
 reached an initial plateau of £750 at
age
Use synonyms
 41–45. After a brief dip to around £720,
this
Linking Words
 group ultimately saw a late-career surge, finishing with the highest weekly
earnings
Use synonyms
 of nearly £800 in the 56–60
age
Use synonyms
 group.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, degree, earnings with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "surge" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: