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Band 4.5

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph demonstrates the weekly earnings of
full time
Correct your spelling
full-time
 graduate employees by type of
degree
Use synonyms
 and
age
Use synonyms
 in 2002. The
first
Use synonyms
 key feature shows that
Use synonyms
first
Correct your spelling
first-degree
degree
Use synonyms
 workers had the lowest weekly
earrings
Check wording
earnings
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 for the whole period.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the earrings of almost 700 remained stable for the 38-40
aproximate
Correct your spelling
approximate
age
Use synonyms
 group. After a slight decrease, the amount
stabilized
Change the spelling
stabilised
show examples
 partly
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the previous position, for the 56-60
age
Use synonyms
 groups.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the proportion of paychecks for individuals with other qualifications showed the sharpest increase throughout the period, reaching over the amount of 800 by 37-38 year olds.
However
Linking Words
, numbers decreased steeply to under 700 in the later stage of life. Opposing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
first
Use synonyms
 two categories mentioned,
post graduates
Correct your spelling
post-graduates
 were the only group to experience an increase in earnings from the
age
Use synonyms
 of 52, from a little over 700, to almost 800 by 56-60 year olds.
Overall
Linking Words
, people with different credentials reached the highest income at a younger
age
Use synonyms
, but suffered a decrease, reaching the same point as the
first
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 population as they grew older.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, from that point, higher
degree
Use synonyms
 persons had a rise in earnings.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words degree, age, first with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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