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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#unemployment #rates #country #kingdom #information #features #comparisons
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The supplied bar chart indicates the
unemployment
Use synonyms
 level for
women
Use synonyms
 in the various countries of the UK over a year period. A glance a the graph reveals that the highest
unemployment
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rate
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 for
women
Use synonyms
 was in England.
However
Linking Words
, Northern Ireland had the lowest amount of
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 over the period. In 2013, the female
unemployment
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rate
Use synonyms
 was 6.8% in England, (which was the highest amount of joblessness for
women
Use synonyms
 over the whole year) as opposed to the proportion of female
unemoyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
rate
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 which was 6.5 in England in 2014.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of
unemployment
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 level for
women
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 in Scotland in 2014 was a bit as much as in 2013 at 6.7% and 6.1%, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
women
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 who could not find a job in Northern Ireland was 5.6% in 2013, just ahead of in 2014
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 was 4.6% in Northern Ireland. (which was the lowest amount of
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 over the period).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 who could not work as employees in Wales in 2013 was slightly as many as people in 2014 at 5.4% and 5%, respectively.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, women, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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