IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mainfe atures andmake comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mainfe atures andmake comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #levels #post-school #qualifications #australia #proportion #men #women #summarise #information #mainfe #atures #andmake #comparisons
The chart above illustrates the
differant
Correct your spelling
different
 levels of post-school
qualifications
 in
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 in the year 1999
along with
 the proportion of males and females who held these
qualifications
.
Overall
,
men
 have the
most
Correct word choice
more
show examples
 post-school
qualifications
 than
women
 do in the given period
exept
Correct your spelling
except
women
 hold a higher percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undergraduate
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bachelor's degrees .  There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 five
differant
Correct your spelling
different
qualifications
 chosen in
this
 chart between diplomas and degrees and as the chart shows there is a
significat differance
Correct your spelling
significant difference
 between
men
 and
women
 in the skilled vocational diploma with 9 out of every 10 diploma
holder
Fix the agreement mistake
holders
show examples
 being a man .
Furthermore
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some noticeable
differances
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
 in
numbers
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
 of
men
 and
women
 in each area
exept
Correct your spelling
except
 for the
bachelors
Change to a genitive case
bachelor's
show examples
 degree in
whitch
Correct your spelling
which
 the numbers are exceptonally close with 50% being females and 45% being males.
To conclude
, the data reveals significant gender differences in post-school
qualifications
 in Australia in 1999.
Men
 dominated most qualification categories, especially in skilled vocational diplomas,
while
women
 held higher percentages in undergraduate diplomas and bachelor’s degrees. These variations highlight distinct educational paths taken by
men
 and
women
 during
this
 period.
Submitted by omniah15 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words qualifications, men, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼

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