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Many people believe that education and high qualifications will bring success. Others think that it’s not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #education #qualifications #success #it’s #life
Nowadays many people believe study
university
 is the best way to achieve success in life or live wherever they want , but others really prefer to
work
 in manual labour and earn a lot of money
instead
 of study
university
 . First of all, studying at
university
 and taking qualifications are really effective for you and the best way to reach a career and even
while
 studying teenagers can get different information which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 necessary for their job and learn things which are essential for their own job. After
graduation
Add a comma
graduation,
show examples
 many modern and high companies will offer you jobs and you will earn so much money.
On the other hand
, several people really prefer to
work
 a manual job
instead
 of studying but in my opinion, working outdoors leads to the same difficult situations because normally people go away from their family to
work
 and earn a lot of money and they
work
 very hard and eat bad food which is invalid to consume and it had caused undoubtedly to be sick. In conclusion , the teenagers who will graduate the school just have to try hard enter to
university
 if they want to create standards of life
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task achievement
Expand on your introduction to give a clearer overview of the two views being discussed. It would be helpful to briefly outline each perspective before diving into your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea and ends with a conclusion or transition to the next point.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or hypothetical scenarios to reinforce your points. This can demonstrate a deeper understanding and more thoroughly support your arguments.
task achievement
Good attempt at discussing both views and presenting an opinion, which is key to achieving the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide structure and completeness to your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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