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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion.

#people #work #determination #keys #success #life #hand #factors
Most parents trust their children .They want their children to study at
university
 .They believe that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education is the best way to achieve
succes
Correct your spelling
success
 in life . Nowadays most people think
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education is good for their future .It is a great point .If they have
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 ,they can find a good job .But
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is not the only way to achieve
succes
Correct your spelling
success
.
On the other hand
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 days lots of humans
Add a missing verb
do
show examples
have not god a
degree
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 a job ,but some of them have a personal business .It means that the
degree
 is not important as people think .But
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our country does not hire without a
degree
 .I mean without a
degree
 people can not find satisfying
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Anyway
Add the punctuation
Anyway,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think studying at a
university
 has many advantages .But it is not the only way
such
 I said .So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am not against either opinion !
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion to summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your points.
task achievement
Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and revisit it in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges different perspectives on the role of university education in achieving success.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the varying viewpoints.
task achievement
The writer attempts to compare and contrast different views, which adds depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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