In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Having payments for health care is considered to be a free charge of services for
people
, meanwhile, other
people
believe that citizens should pay the charges for medical services.
Although
medical technologies and
cures
are expensive, the government have to avoid public epidemics.
Thus
, I partially agree with
this
idea. Not all
countries
are able to supply free
cures
for health
problems
, because of the price and lack of resources in the
world
. If developing or even developed
countries
serve for free, they might face financial drops in their economy because working on some
cures
for serious diseases requires a lot of effort, time, and investment, so medical
cures
are costed
Wrong verb form
cost
show examples
with very high amount of money.
However
, governments have to provide financial aid for only
people
who have no financial support.
As a consequence
,
countries
may not help with those kinds of
problems
to
people
at all.
However
, special organizations have to consider the upcoming threats and
problems
, if they do not deal with the serious diseases, which can be spread throughout the
world
. Basically, humanity has been facing many inevitable epidemics,
such
as COVID-19 which happened recently in the
world
and many
people
can remember the evidence clearly. So, the reason that
virus
Correct article usage
the virus
show examples
came out to the
world
was the fault of the Chinese government.
As a result
, health organizations have to provide vaccines to
people
for free, and by doing
this
, they can solve many global
problems
. In conclusion, not many
countries
are not ready for free supplements to the public, but
this
should not be an excuse. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
local authorities are responsible for the solution of it.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Task Response
While your introductory paragraph clearly presents the topic, further clarity is needed in expressing your standpoint. Consider stating your position more explicitly in the introduction to enhance the reader's understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is logical with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, improve the coherence between paragraphs by using more connecting words or phrases to guide the reader through your points smoothly.
Task Response
Include more specific examples or data to better elaborate on your arguments. For instance, refer to a specific country's healthcare system or historical instances of government-provided healthcare to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear structure with defined paragraphs for your introduction, body, and conclusion which makes your essay easy to follow.
Task Response
Your essay presents multiple perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced approach which enriches the discussion.
Task Response
Your arguments are supported by logically reasoned points, particularly in discussing the financial strain on governments and the role of medical organizations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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