IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be free service provided by the government.

#countries #people #care #think #service #government
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Medical
care
Use synonyms
 should be
free
Correct article usage
a free
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 service for all countries.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should be responsible and covered for
this
Linking Words
. In my opinion, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, there are many other public
services
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which
Change preposition
for which
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 are
government
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 should be responsible. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 should provide free medical
services
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 for
people
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. Medical
care
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 is crucial for saving lives and ensuring public health. There are many
people
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 who
are struggle
Change the verb form
are struggling
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 to pay for medical
care
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. They suffer from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of money.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should provide complimentary medical
services
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 to help all
people
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 have good health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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 have to pay for medical
care
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 by themselves.
Government
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 can't pay for all
people
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. The
government
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 can pay a certain amount. There are many other necessary
services
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 and facilities which are
government
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 should be responsible
and
Change preposition
for and
show examples
covered
Replace the word
cover
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. Providing free medical
services
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 can lead to financial issues for the governments.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 lead to higher taxes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other public
services
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to pay for medical
services
Use synonyms
 by themselves. In conclusion, there are several significant reasons why the
government
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 should provide free medical reasons. It can provide many good facilities for all
people
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 if the
government
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 provides free medical
services
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.
Hovewer
Correct your spelling
However
, it can lead to some problems. The
government
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 face to lack of
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 because there are
also
Linking Words
 other public
services
Use synonyms
 which are necessary and should be covered.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and expands logically with supporting details or arguments to improve coherence.
language accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and plural forms to improve grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'people who are struggle' should be 'people who struggle.'
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
The essay explores both sides of the argument, contributing to a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
What to do next:
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