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Band 3.5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be free service provided by the government.

#countries #people #care #think #service #government
Medical
care
 should be
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 service for all countries.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should be responsible and covered for
this
. In my opinion, I partially agree with
this
 statement, there are many other public
services
which
Change preposition
for which
show examples
 are
government
 should be responsible. On the one hand,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide free medical
services
 for
people
. Medical
care
 is crucial for saving lives and ensuring public health. There are many
people
 who
are struggle
Change the verb form
are struggling
show examples
 to pay for medical
care
. They suffer from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of money.
Therefore
, the
government
 should provide complimentary medical
services
 to help all
people
 have good health.
On the other hand
,
people
 have to pay for medical
care
 by themselves.
Government
 can't pay for all
people
. The
government
 can pay a certain amount. There are many other necessary
services
 and facilities which are
government
 should be responsible
and
Change preposition
for and
show examples
covered
Replace the word
cover
show examples
. Providing free medical
services
 can lead to financial issues for the governments.
Additionally
, it can
also
 lead to higher taxes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other public
services
.
Therefore
,
people
 have to pay for medical
services
 by themselves. In conclusion, there are several significant reasons why the
government
 should provide free medical reasons. It can provide many good facilities for all
people
 if the
government
 provides free medical
services
.
Hovewer
Correct your spelling
However
, it can lead to some problems. The
government
 face to lack of
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 because there are
also
 other public
services
 which are necessary and should be covered.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and expands logically with supporting details or arguments to improve coherence.
language accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and plural forms to improve grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'people who are struggle' should be 'people who struggle.'
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
The essay explores both sides of the argument, contributing to a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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