After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Some
regarded
that after finishing education, young Verb problem
believe
people
should go to work
on
Change preposition
at
job
they love, Correct article usage
a job
others
believe that they must Correct word choice
while others
work
on job
that pays a lot of Add an article
a job
the job
monye
.Correct your spelling
money
However
, this
essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinine
.
On the one hand, when Correct your spelling
opinion
opinions
graduation
Replace the word
graduating
chose
to Wrong verb form
choose
work
in fields they love, it will have a great results
on them or on their Correct the article-noun agreement
great results
a great result
job
, as they will have passion in
Change preposition
for
this
work
and always have an
energy to do their best and be Change the article
the
an
excellent Correct article usage
apply
employee
in Fix the agreement mistake
employees
this
job
. For exapmle
, many successful actors Correct your spelling
example
their
family Change preposition
in their
were
want Unnecessary verb
apply
for
them to study in other fields, but they Change preposition
apply
chooes
to be in act field, as they love Correct your spelling
choose
this
job
and they work
hard on it to become a good actors
.Correct the article-noun agreement
a good actor
good actors
Therefore
, the
Correct article usage
apply
people
should let the students be in what they want, mabey
Correct your spelling
maybe
on
day they will be Correct your spelling
one
the
successful Correct article usage
apply
people
on
Change preposition
in
work
they choose.
Correct article usage
the work
On the other hand
, decided
to Wrong verb form
decide
chose
Change the verb
choose
career
that pays the best salary, it will be beneficial Add an article
a career
forr
their lives, as they will have a good income and enhance their lives, but Correct your spelling
for
also
it may have a badly
impact as they Change the adverb
bad
mabye
not Correct your spelling
may
found
Wrong verb form
find
theirself
in Correct your spelling
themselves
this
job
, so they will stay in this
job
just for monye
and not try to give the best for Correct your spelling
money
this
job
. For instanct
, a study conducted by Correct your spelling
instance
University
of Cambridge revealed that 60% of young Correct article usage
the University
peoples
that Fix the agreement mistake
people
chosin
a Correct your spelling
choose
creer
because Correct your spelling
career
it
Change the pronoun
its
money
, they have Add a missing verb
is money
a
depression and they didn't improve their companies. Remove the article
apply
Moreover
, working just for money
Add an article
the money
it
is not the reason that will make Correct pronoun usage
apply
person
to Add an article
a person
the person
contiue
his life happy and in Correct your spelling
continue
they
way he Correct your spelling
the
decieded
.
In Correct your spelling
decided
conculsion
, every Correct your spelling
conclusion
perspectives
Change to a singular noun
perspective
had
Wrong verb form
has
an
advantages and disadvantages, but always Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
people
should chose
a good career that will make them wake up Change the verb form
choose
everyday
and Replace the word
every day
decided
to Wrong verb form
decide
by
a good person.Correct your spelling
be
Submitted by daliaakram35 on
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language
Focus on reducing the number of spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide more detailed, relevant examples to support each point.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both perspectives on the topic, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your discussion well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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