IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People nowadays prefer to interact online (e.g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
The
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 social
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. They like a talk
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 everything with other
people
Use synonyms
. They like
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
shopping and eating.
People
Use synonyms
 like all
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
stiuation
Correct your spelling
situations
 but sometimes how they do it can vary.
Body paragraph 1
The
people
Use synonyms
 like a talk we know. They used to only be able to talk
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 but now
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 if
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
face meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
 a
friend
Use synonyms
 but you
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
 time
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
call or send
a
Change the article
an
show examples
audience message.
People
Use synonyms
 like a
shooping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 but
this
Linking Words
endustriyel
Correct your spelling
industrial
 age
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
 busy we
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 suitable time we
while
Linking Words
 working only
use
Use synonyms
 a phone we can order whatever we need.
This
Linking Words
Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 only
phone
Correct article usage
a phone
show examples
 and
finger
Correct article usage
a finger
show examples
 and we need a card.
This
Linking Words
 situation is comfortable but we
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 see we are getting lazy. We only think about ourselves.
This
Linking Words
 is wrong. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 we
use
Use synonyms
 a
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 that
comfortable
Add a missing verb
is comfortable
show examples
 and useful but we Let
is
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 not be addicted.
Conclusion
How can we solve solve
this
Linking Words
 problem?
Ofcourse
Correct your spelling
Of course
 we will not remove
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 from our lives. Maybe we can
use
Use synonyms
 less. For
examble
Correct your spelling
example
 ıf we have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough time we
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 call
Use synonyms
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 we talk
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
. If we do not constantly call our
Use synonyms
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 and talk
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 our bond
Use synonyms
Change preposition
with friend
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 will decrease. We know
problem
Add an article
the problem
show examples
 and we know a solution. We must solve the problem before we get used to laziness.

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your thoughts better with clear paragraphs, each outlining a distinct idea or argument. This will help in building a logical structure and make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction outlining the topic and a conclusion summarizing your main points. Right now, the conclusion could be more defined with clearer wrapping up of the arguments.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or references to support your points. This could be personal experiences or general observations that relate to your argument.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas and ensure each sentence adds value to the argument you're making. Avoid repetition and make sure every sentence moves your argument or explanation forward.
task achievement
You've addressed some key points about the use of technology for communication and shopping, exploring both the convenience and potential downside of reduced face-to-face interaction.
task achievement
Your essay recognizes the balance needed in using technology — it's an important discussion point that adds depth to the essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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