IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Write about the following topic: People nowadays prefer to interact online (e.g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #people #e #g #chat #friends #development #minutes
The
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 social
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. They like a talk
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 everything with other
people
. They like
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
shopping and eating.
People
 like all
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
stiuation
Correct your spelling
situations
 but sometimes how they do it can vary. The
people
 like a talk we know. They used to only be able to talk
face
 to
face
 but now
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 if
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
face
 to
face meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
 a
friend
 but you
dont
Correct your spelling
not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
 time
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
call or send
a
Change the article
an
show examples
audience message.
People
 like a
shooping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 but
this
endustriyel
Correct your spelling
industrial
 age
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
 busy we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 suitable time we
while
 working only
use
 a phone we can order whatever we need.
This
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 only
phone
Correct article usage
a phone
show examples
 and
finger
Correct article usage
a finger
show examples
 and we need a card.
This
 situation is comfortable but we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 see we are getting lazy. We only think about ourselves.
This
 is wrong. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 we
use
 a
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 that
comfortable
Add a missing verb
is comfortable
show examples
 and useful but we Let
is
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 not be addicted. How can we solve solve
this
 problem?
Ofcourse
Correct your spelling
Of course
 we will not remove
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 from our lives. Maybe we can
use
 less. For
examble
Correct your spelling
example
 ıf we have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough time we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 call
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 we talk
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
face
 to
face
. If we do not constantly call our
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 and talk
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
face
 to
face
 our bond
Change preposition
with friend
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 will decrease. We know
problem
Add an article
the problem
show examples
 and we know a solution. We must solve the problem before we get used to laziness.
Submitted by kubrairmak287 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your thoughts better with clear paragraphs, each outlining a distinct idea or argument. This will help in building a logical structure and make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction outlining the topic and a conclusion summarizing your main points. Right now, the conclusion could be more defined with clearer wrapping up of the arguments.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or references to support your points. This could be personal experiences or general observations that relate to your argument.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas and ensure each sentence adds value to the argument you're making. Avoid repetition and make sure every sentence moves your argument or explanation forward.
task achievement
You've addressed some key points about the use of technology for communication and shopping, exploring both the convenience and potential downside of reduced face-to-face interaction.
task achievement
Your essay recognizes the balance needed in using technology — it's an important discussion point that adds depth to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: