“Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.” Discuss the effects lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
children
are energetic
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. They need spaces where they can play freely. We are responsible for creating space for them. Sometimes we can not see
thay
Correct your spelling
that
they need to throw off their energy but
this
situation is wrong. We must see and we must solve
this
problem. Your
children
can play in natural
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
or safe streets just
you
Correct word choice
as you
show examples
did in your childhood.
Your
Correct your spelling
You're
show examples
right about not letting your
children
go out.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
park is not safe because there not not enough security guards and strangers can easily talk to your
children
. If
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
and your
children
go out you should be careful you should always be with your
children
.
This
situation is not
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
and perfect but
children
need a play in
park
Add an article
the park
show examples
. Some parents are rich so they bought a
hobbies
Fix the agreement mistake
hobby
show examples
garden
this
is a logical
solve
Replace the word
solution
show examples
because the child can both play
comfortable
Change the word
comfortably
show examples
and learn something by planning
furits
Correct your spelling
fruits
or vegetables. If you are not rich but you have a village and if it is not far from the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
you can go to the village frequently.
Children
playing outside develop. They talk release the energy and adapt to life more easily. We should not do
this
evil to
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
children
We must ensure their freedom and create space for them to run freely.
Submitted by kubrairmak287 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion for better clarity and effectiveness.
logical structure
Include more logical connectors to enhance the flow between ideas.
logical structure
Try to clearly differentiate between your main points and supporting details for better coherence.
complete response
The essay reflects an understanding of children's need for play and interaction with nature.
relevant specific examples
Practical examples of gardens and village visits add richness to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: