“Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.” Discuss the effects lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#“because #pace #life #children #time #indoors #exposure #world #effects #lack #nature

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At present days, modern lifestyle made most

children

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

more time in indoor

places

and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not interact with

Correct article usage

the nature

show examples

nature

Replace the word

natural

show examples

world

and take its merits. Many people believe it is a good approach as

its

Correct your spelling

it is

show examples

indoors safer than outdoor

places

while

others think indoors affect very badly in child's health and the development of society. In

this

essay, I will discuss both

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and disadvantages of

this

subject, The main advantage is indoor

places

offer more

sefaty

Correct your spelling

safety

for

childern

Correct your spelling

children

, these

places

organize the movement,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

space has an end so

children

can not be lost.

In addition

, to enter any indoor

places

Fix the agreement mistake

place

show examples

there is a security to check if you are not carrying any dangerous items, as there are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

strong rules if

any body

Correct your spelling

anybody

show examples

break

Change the verb form

breaks

show examples

them they will be

bunished

Correct your spelling

punished

banished

burnished

For example

, in

school

Add a comma

school,

show examples

if you bring a gun you will be removed from the school.

As a result

, indoor

places

keeps

Change the verb form

keep

show examples

children

safe. When we talk about

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

, staying

indoor

Correct your spelling

indoors

show examples

most of the time causes some diseases

such

as vitamin C loss. Every human

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to contract with

nature

, it improves mental health and makes life more

enjoyably

Change the word

enjoyable

show examples

Moreover

children

should grow

learning

Change preposition

up learning

show examples

about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature

, they need to discover all aspects of the

world

to help understand the

nature

Replace the word

natural

show examples

world

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

make

Verb problem

show examples

more studies later when they are older. There is

study

Correct article usage

a study

show examples

shows

Wrong verb form

showing

show examples

how indoor

places

affect negatively

Change preposition

apply

show examples

mental health

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for

children

As a result

, indoor

places

destroy people's healthcare and do not help education improve around the

world

. In conclusion, modern life helps families

ptotect

Correct your spelling

protect

their

children

from any

dangerous

Replace the word

dangers

show examples

but

on the other hand

, it is not healthy for

childern

Correct your spelling

children

nor

Correct word choice

show examples

the community.

Submitted by danall1kat on Tue Oct 08 2024

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task achievement

Focus on developing clear and comprehensive ideas to strengthen arguments. Clarify any ambiguous statements and ensure your points are well-explained.

task achievement

Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points and make your argument clearer and more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence by using clear transitions between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.

introduction conclusion present

The essay introduces both sides of the argument, outlining the advantages and disadvantages of children spending most of their time indoors.

supported main points

Main points are supported with examples and explanations, reflecting an understanding of the topic.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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In an era of globalisation, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well-paid job, while others believe that other options are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

task 2: Internet technology means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?