“Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.” Discuss the effects lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
At present days, modern lifestyle made most
children
spent
more time in indoor Wrong verb form
spend
places
and do
not interact with Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct article usage
the nature
nature
Replace the word
natural
world
and take its merits. Many people believe it is a good approach as its
indoors safer than outdoor Correct your spelling
it is
places
while
others think indoors affect very badly in child's health and the development of society. In this
essay, I will discuss both advantages
and disadvantages of Correct article usage
the advantages
this
subject,
The main advantage is indoor places
offer more sefaty
for Correct your spelling
safety
childern
, these Correct your spelling
children
places
organize the movement, the
space has an end so Correct word choice
and the
children
can not be lost. In addition
, to enter any indoor places
there is a security to check if you are not carrying any dangerous items, as there are Fix the agreement mistake
place
a
strong rules if Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
any body
Correct your spelling
anybody
break
them they will be Change the verb form
breaks
bunished
. Correct your spelling
punished
banished
burnished
For example
, in school
if you bring a gun you will be removed from the school. Add a comma
school,
As a result
, indoor places
keeps
Change the verb form
keep
children
safe.
When we talk about disadvantage
, staying Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
indoor
most of the time causes some diseases Correct your spelling
indoors
such
as vitamin C loss. Every human need
to contract with Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
nature
, it improves mental health and makes life more enjoyably
. Change the word
enjoyable
Moreover
, children
should grow learning
about Change preposition
up learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
, they need to discover all aspects of the world
to help understand the nature
Replace the word
natural
world
,
and Remove the comma
apply
make
more studies later when they are older. There is Verb problem
do
study
Correct article usage
a study
shows
how indoor Wrong verb form
showing
places
affect negatively on
mental health Change preposition
apply
especially
for Add the comma(s)
, especially
children
. As a result
, indoor places
destroy people's healthcare and do not help education improve around the world
.
In conclusion, modern life helps families ptotect
their Correct your spelling
protect
children
from any dangerous
but Replace the word
dangers
on the other hand
, it is not healthy for childern
Correct your spelling
children
nor
the community.Correct word choice
or
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task achievement
Focus on developing clear and comprehensive ideas to strengthen arguments. Clarify any ambiguous statements and ensure your points are well-explained.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points and make your argument clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using clear transitions between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces both sides of the argument, outlining the advantages and disadvantages of children spending most of their time indoors.
supported main points
Main points are supported with examples and explanations, reflecting an understanding of the topic.