After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
After graduation,it is widely acknowledged that students are supposed to find a
job
.However
,disagreement
comes up when Add an article
the disagreement
people
argue that the yougth
should Correct your spelling
youth
base
on their interest Wrong verb form
be based
to select
Change preposition
in selecting
the
Correct article usage
a
career
instead
of making decision
by Add an article
a decision
the decision
the
salary.From my point of view,I Correct article usage
apply
partialy
agree.
We know that motivation is the key element which could sustain employees working for a long time,so the love for the Correct your spelling
partially
career
would help them to consistently focus on the work place
or the field .Only when Correct your spelling
workplace
people
have intrinsic
motivation Add an article
an intrinsic
the intrinsic
to
the Change preposition
for
job
,they would have true
love for the Add an article
a true
career
and truely
devote themselves to their own Correct your spelling
truly
career
and make progress or have the
sense of Correct article usage
a
achivement
. Correct your spelling
achievement
However
, having unclear goals towards their lives is a common phenomenent
among the graduates.In Correct your spelling
phenomenon
this
case,maybe they can not decide what fields they would stay .Besides
,there are also
numerous uncertain situation
they are going to meet, Fix the agreement mistake
situations
for instance
, the adaptability to the working environment and working style,the way to deal with social relationship
and so on.Even more,at the Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
begining
of making Correct your spelling
beginning
decision
, they Add an article
a decision
the decision
selct
a Correct your spelling
select
job
because of their interests,after
some days,maybe they change their mind and deny the previous choices.Correct word choice
and after
To conclude
,uncertain elements are on the way,so the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
should make a
optimal choice.
An ideal Change the article
an
job
is not always easy to find,
until they make several attempts. After Remove the comma
apply
gratuation
,different Correct your spelling
graduation
people
have different choices,the rich is
tend to have optimal choices and Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct article usage
a promissing
promissing
future,so they would rather do what they want but not always related to their inner interests,some just like making money ,some want to try out as more new fields as they can.For Correct your spelling
promising
the
normal Correct article usage
apply
people
,they may focus on the way under their feet.Under the pressure of buying a house ,supporting parents
and obtaining a basic living standard for themselves,maybe they would have a preference Correct pronoun usage
their parents
to
Change preposition
for
higher
income.But in Correct article usage
a higher
the
reality,having an Correct article usage
apply
oppotunity
to have a Correct your spelling
opportunity
hign
income Correct your spelling
high
job
is rare to be seen.In the
normal working place,after several years Correct article usage
apply
a
attribution to the company , a promotion may Correct your spelling
of
can
be made which Remove a modal verb
apply
lead
to a Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
rice
in the salary.
In Correct your spelling
rise
a
conclusion,when choosing a Correct article usage
apply
job
,young people
had better take reality
situation and future Correct article usage
the reality
plan
into account,if Fix the agreement mistake
plans
theyhave
no idea ,they could Correct your spelling
they have
are seek
help from Change the verb form
seek
the
old or successful Correct article usage
apply
people
,or just choose the job
which is optimal after make
Change the verb form
making
Correct article usage
a comparision
comparision
of salary ,future development and the preference , Correct your spelling
comparison
then
try their best in the career
and find out whether this
is the ideal one.If not,they could make another choice.Submitted by asllchkied on
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improvement
The essay needs clearer structure and paragraph organization. Try to divide the points neatly into separate paragraphs and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
improvement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments. This could be examples from real life, studies, or famous personalities to strengthen your position.
improvement
Check for grammatical errors and ensure sentence structures are varied and correct. This will improve the clarity of your ideas.
strength
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a complete response to the task.
strength
You have addressed the task well by discussing different aspects and perspectives on job selection after graduation.
strength
The essay attempts to present a balanced view, considering motivations for both high-paying jobs and jobs that align with personal interests.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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