Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

#species #animals #risk

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It is true that some species of

animals

are

endagered

Correct your spelling

endangered

nowadays. Human

activities

Change the verb form

are

show examples

considered the main reason why

this

is the case, and governments and residents should be responsible for solving

this

problem. The biggest factor leading to

this

problem is that human

activities

impact to extinction of many species of

animals

because of poaching for consumption or

fashion

Correct article usage

the fashion

show examples

industry.

Moreover

, maximizing buildings and

infrastuctures

Correct your spelling

infrastructures

infrastructure

can encroach

animal

Change preposition

on animal

show examples

habitats.

For example

according to

the latest research conducted by Bangkok University, Thailand, it was

reavealed

Correct your spelling

revealed

that 60% of fashion industries in Thailand utilize

animal's

Change noun form

animal

show examples

skin

for

Change preposition

show examples

produce lether

procucts

Correct your spelling

products

such

as bags, shoes and clothes.

This

example shows that human

activities

play a major role in animal extinction. In order to solve

this

issue, governments and residents should take action as soon as possible. The most significant solution to support

this

the

Add a missing verb

is the

show examples

fact that governments should introduce laws to preserve natural areas and wild

animals

. The citizens

also

should participate in

campaign

Correct article usage

the campaign

show examples

willingly.

Thus

animals

should have

thier

Correct your spelling

their

own

sacrified

Correct your spelling

sacrificed

lives, and it can affect to

maintain

Replace the word

maintenance

show examples

biodiversity

Change preposition

of biodiversity

show examples

and ecology balance. If

animals

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

not protected as soon as possible, they will die out obviously. To illustrate

this

, in recent news, it has been reported that there is abundant wildlife in Costa Rica because the government has impulsive regulations for preventing hunting

wild

Change preposition

of wild

show examples

animals

. In conclusion, some species of

animals

are almost extinct because of human

activities

. In order to combat

this

govenments

Correct your spelling

governments

and citizens should be responsible for solving

this

problem together.

Submitted by chachiiaom on Wed Oct 09 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, expand on ideas and examples to ensure a more detailed exploration of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on providing more elaboration on specific points to strengthen coherence and cohesion in your arguments.

introduction conclusion

Your essay effectively introduces the topic and includes a clear conclusion.

supported main points

You provide relevant examples to support your points, especially the example from the fashion industry in Thailand.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

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17 Many people use social media every day to get in touch with other people and obtain the news. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages? (MEDIA)

People from many countries are marrying later and having fewer children. Give reasons why this is happening. Are there any positive or negative developments regarding this?